Airplane Etiquette: The Unspoken Rules of Flying

Have you ever wished there was a school for airplane passengers? Well, class is in session! In this episode, we're diving headfirst into the do’s and don’ts of airplane etiquette, straight from the galley to your ears. From overhead bin blunders to bare feet horror stories, we’re breaking down everything that makes us cringe—and laugh—when flying the friendly skies. And yes, we’ve got thoughts on your speakerphone convos and tuna sandwiches too.

We’re sharing real listener stories, our own in-flight drama, and hilarious personal experiences that highlight the bizarre (and sometimes brilliant) behavior we see onboard. If you’ve ever flown—or plan to—you won’t want to miss this crash course in sky manners. Bonus: You might just walk away knowing the true rules of the armrest game.

Episode Highlights:

[0:39] We kick off class—welcome to the school of airplane etiquette.
 [1:26] Rich shares a passenger meltdown over a tight connection... and poor decision-making.
 [4:58] Andrew's “everything went wrong” trip, complete with delays, storms, and missed trains.
 [9:04] We react to your listener-submitted etiquette gripes—starting with bare feet on bulkheads.
[10:50] Armrest rules, manspreading, and who controls the window shade—welcome to Sky Law.
[14:44] Speakerphone sagas, juicy convos, and when it's okay (maybe) to listen in.
[17:01] PSA: Stop yanking seatbacks to stand up—your seatmate’s neck will thank you.
[18:04] The overhead bin shuffle—get what you need before sitting down!
[19:25] Safety demo respect, headphone etiquette, and who deserves your “thank you.”
[22:02] Don’t poke the flight attendant... or touch us anywhere else either.
[23:06] The great overhead bin debate—move my bag? Drew says yes. Rich says... ask first.
[26:24] The etiquette of bathroom use—just don’t. Unless you must. Then spritz, please.
[28:01] Whispered convos, stinky food, and should you snore?
[29:26] Lavatory habits and tray table horror stories—we see (and smell) it all.
[33:29] The myth of “your” overhead bin and how to stop the tantrums.
[34:39] Don’t run to the front. Stay seated. The airplane is not a race track.
[36:30] Diaper duty belongs in the lav—not on the tray table.
[37:29] Galley Gossip: Eli’s panicked pass

Transcript

Rich: 0:02

Ever wondered what your flight attendants are really talking about behind the galley curtain?

Unknown: 0:06

Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an insider look at flight attendant life.

Rich: 0:11

We're your hosts, rich and Drew, and we're here to tell you what really goes on at 35,000 feet.

Andrew: 0:16

So sit back, relax. We're ready for takeoff. So we always have people asking us the why there aren't courses for passengers and what to do. There should be a school on how to behave on an airplane, and today should be required. We are those people. We are your school. Class is in session right now.

Rich: 0:39

Class is in session. We are your instructors.

Andrew: 0:43

We choke to threads, and we asked people about airplane etiquette, and what are things that you should not do on an airplane. And we are going to go through those. But before we do rich, how's flying been

Rich: 0:55

recently? Well, flying has been a bit of a roller coaster lately. I feel like I've just been up and down, up and down. It's just been a little chaotic lately. I've had a lot of delays, a lot of cancelations, a lot of things that just make you understand why passengers are frustrated because you're like, this could have been avoided, like, you don't have a gate. Okay, you have a gate. Oh, you don't have someone to park you. Oh, you have someone to park you, but you don't have an A don't have an agent to meet the flight. Like there's so many avoidable things that happen.

Andrew: 1:26

Pulled us too far forward, sit down so we can push you Exactly. Oh, my God, that's always frustrating to happen to me recently at all.

Rich: 1:34

So I was working this flight, and we were a little bit delayed, not like exceptionally delayed. It was probably a half hour, so really not that bad in the grand scheme of things, but passengers were understandably worried about their connections, as they usually are. It's a classic story, we land, we taxi and we stop, we start again, we stop. And during one of the stops, a passenger, you know, rings her call bell, and I go over there, and I'm like, what's going on? And she's like, I have a tight connection. My plane leaves in five minutes, and which was wrong. She read the time wrong, but she didn't have a lot of time, and she was worried. I was like, Don't worry about it. Like, just wait till we get to the gate. As soon as we get to the gate, we're gonna make an announcement, and we're gonna, like, let passengers off first that have a tight connection. And she was like, okay, okay. So we go back. I go back to the galley and sit down. We taxi. We continue up to the gate. Captain says we're about 150 feet short of the gate. Remain seated for a moment until we're fully parked. I see this woman get up out of her seat, the same woman I was talking to, and I'm like, no, no, you need to stay in your seat. She's running to the back of the airplane. And I'm like, You need to stay in her seat. And she's like, my connection. And I was like, I know we talked about this already. Why

Unknown: 2:45

would she go to the back of the plane? Well, she that's the

Rich: 2:49

flight attendants that she knew. So she came to the back to

Unknown: 2:52

talk to us off the play, though, why would you go to the back of the plane?

Rich: 2:55

So you know the end of my story? No, I don't. Well, just wait. So she runs to the back of the plane as soon as I'm telling her she needs to be in her seat. Don't worry about connection. We start taxing. Bing, seatbelt signs off. She's now trapped in the back of the air seat belt signs off. Everybody's up, of course, everybody's grabbing stuff, everyone's making connection. Row nine, like you are now at row 29 and you have made this so much worse because you just didn't follow the rules. Like moral of the story, follow the rules and you won't be

Andrew: 3:33

in this situation. Why did you run to the back of the plane if you need to get off of it? Yeah, it doesn't make sense.

Rich: 3:39

I mean, that fundamentally doesn't make sense. But then just thinking about, like, the way this all played out for her, like, once again, trust your flight attendants, trust your crew members

Andrew: 3:49

for it. How did she end up blaming you for it? I knew she's she know she didn't she didn't blame me. She didn't stand back there and blame the flight attendant for, like, making this I

Rich: 3:58

was speechless. The second seat belt sign went off, and she turned and looked down the aisle, like I had to be like, a solid five minutes of her just seeing the back of her head, just looking down the aisle, because you could just, like, feel the panic in her body. And she turned and she goes, What should I do? And I said, Wait, wait, there's what do you think you can do at this point? Like it. I It was so hard not to laugh. I wanted to duck into a lab so bad and just hide because, like, at this point, just you made this a bigger problem than it needed to be. You did it all to yourself. Yeah, you could have just sat there, waited for the light to go off, stood up, absolutely. Could have gotten three or four rows in front of people, yeah, and minute, like row four at a bulkhead, Max, and been ready. That's okay. Do not push from the front to the back to, like, get off the plane, but respect fully. Say, excuse me, and you probably could have got up to, like, a bulkhead from row nine. That's wild. How's how's things going for you? How are your trips been

Andrew: 4:58

mostly good? Truth. Hopefully up and down and over pretty quick. That's good. You know what? I had a trip the other day where, like, if it could go wrong, it was going wrong one of those days. And like, like you were saying, I understand the like frustration that people have, because I am also frustrated we took an hour maintenance delay over something that, like, it needs to be fixed, I understand, but like, shouldn't have been a maintenance delay in the first place. Like, how did we get here, right? So, like, you show up for your first flight of the day and it's on a maintenance delay, and then you're like,

Rich: 5:41

you know, it's a bad start, yeah? Like, when you show up and there's already problems, here's an

Andrew: 5:45

hour delay. So, like, we're not getting home on time, and then you get to the destination and they pull you in too far, so then you have to and it just compounds on everything. So like, right? You have an hour maintenance delay. You finally get off the gate. Everyone's annoying because you're an hour late. And, like, everyone's annoying. Everyone's annoying. I don't know if you meant to say annoyed or annoying, but both, everyone's annoying. And then you finally get there, and then you get marshaled in too far, so you have to, like, push back to, like, get to a point where the jet bridge can line up with your airplane, and then you're late, so like, last person off the airplane, they're already staging ready to board you again. And you're like, Y'all gotta clean and like, do things like, calm down. Yeah, everyone, take a deep breath. This is not happening as quick as you want it to happen

Rich: 6:35

because it physically can't, like, they're not getting it

Andrew: 6:39

correct. You finally get everyone on board, and then a storm blows up over your route, so you have to wait 45 minutes to get a new route, and it's just one of those days. And then you get to Philly, and you're so delayed that like the ground crew isn't at your gate because they weren't half of them were supposed to be there. You were already supposed to be there, and so now you're an hour and a half late, and there's no ground crew, so you wait for like, 45 minutes for somebody to marshal you in, and then, because we're train riders, you finally get off, and you, like, miss the train by like 36 seconds. Like, I see the tail of the train pulling away, and I'm like, This is so stupid, but I can't get to another station to, like, catch it, right? It was just one of

Rich: 7:25

those. These are the most frustrating days, literally everything.

Andrew: 7:29

And then I'm standing there pissed because I've had an awful day, and somebody goes, Do you know if this is the train to No, I don't. I'm in a flight attendant uniform, not a conductor uniform. Leave me alone. I'm off work. Stop talking to me. Are you okay?

Rich: 7:43

No, that's amazing, but that was my day. It was awful. Yeah, I'm sorry. The days like that, though we're just all compounds, yeah, each other, and it's like, well, what's the next thing that goes

Andrew: 7:57

wrong? You do your best to, like, put a smile on your face and, like, forget. And honestly, I'm a very forgetful person. I tell everyone I have the memory of a goldfish because, like, what happened on the last flight? I don't remember. I have no idea. People are like, where are you coming from? I don't know. I don't remember, where are we going? I don't know. Remember,

Rich: 8:15

you do that really well. Like, you you stop, and you like, move on. And then it's done right? Like, once you let something go, you let it go, correct? Like, fully and completely. Like, better than anyone else that I know zero when you haven't, it's over there,

Andrew: 8:33

it's present and it's taken over, yeah, but like, I'm a goldfish, my memory has been wiped 20 seconds later. I have no idea what happens, but he was like, How was like, how was the fight in and I'm like, I

Rich: 8:43

don't know my little Dory. Little Dory from Finding Nemo. Yeah. I love it, yeah. So airplane etiquette, the things that people do and shouldn't do or should do on an airplane. Let me adjust my glasses. You can school. You school is in session. Cue, school bell Noise, Bring

Andrew: 9:04

a cute enough skirt to be in school

Rich: 9:07

next time. Tell me about the first podcast after hours episode. So we did poll our audience, and we asked you guys, let's talk airplane etiquette. What should you do or not do on an airplane? So first up, actually, this response is from one of our favorite podcasts. If you haven't listened to them yet, they're amazing. It's a group of aircraft mechanics, and they run a podcast called canceled for maintenance. It's a fantastic podcast. You guys should check it out. And they said, please keep your bare feet off the bulkheads. This is a great way to kick it off, because feet on airplanes, no flying feet.

Andrew: 9:45

First of all, keep your shoes on. Second of all, did your grandmother teach you nothing? Keep your feet off the furniture, bulkhead seats like Do not put your feet on anything. Absolutely not. Okay. It's not. No, this is not your living room. It's a multi million dollar jet. Please keep your feet to yourself. Like, why so gross? You get there and, like, people's feet are up, and I'm like, stop. Yeah, it's not a cute look. Yeah. Don't do that. No, I did, but I don't do it on airplanes as a small one who always get stuck in the middle. Respect the boundaries of armrest. Just because you have room doesn't mean I want you leaning in my way.

Rich: 10:27

I think, I mean, we've talked about this ad nauseam at this point, but respect in general goes a long way, especially when you're in a confined space with people and armrest situation, like, if you're in a middle seat, like, Don't crowd that. Person, like, you know the aisle. Person can lean into the aisle a little bit. The window person can lean up on the window a little bit, like, you don't need to be all over the middle seat.

Andrew: 10:50

Person, in case you don't know the rules, the window person gets the rule over the window shade. The middle person gets both arm rest and the owl person gets to decide whether you get to go to the bathroom or not, and those are the rules of the airplane and respectfully you should. We didn't know them, but we are here to honor them also. I don't know why men believe this, but like, keep your legs together.

Rich: 11:19

Isn't that ironic? You know men like tell society tells women, for decades and decades and generations, keep your legs closed, right? It's time to start telling men that

Andrew: 11:29

you don't need a six feet space between your knees. Put like, it's rude to go into someone else's space, like that. Keep your legs together. We all have limited amount of space. It's just there's no reason for your legs to be that far apart.

Rich: 11:43

The next one was, keep your shoes on, which goes with number one, yeah. Of don't put your bare foot. Feet on the bulkhead. Don't put your feet on anything. Don't keep your shoes on. Shoes on. Nobody wants to see your toes. This is an airplane like this is not a spa like what you're on public transportation,

Andrew: 12:02

yes, also, I don't think people know that they may need their shoes. Like, I get, like, loosening your laces, because, like, your body does swell in an airplane, and sometimes your shoes are too tight. So like, untie them, loosen your legs a little, like whatever, you have to be prepared to leave the airplane, and what are you doing in your bare feet? And don't if you're gonna get up and move around the airplane, if you sat there and took them off because your feet were swelling, put them back on before you move around the airplane. That's not water on the bathroom floor that you're stepping into.

Rich: 12:36

I was doing the safety demo. I was at the exit row finish the safety demo, and I'm going to do my compliance checks. And I, you know, I'm on aircraft left, and then they turn I'm on aircraft right, and I'm, you know, at first glance, I'm like, it's fine. And then I'm like, wait a minute, and this guy is just completely barefoot, like, toes out, and he's holding his shoes on his lap. And meanwhile, this is exit row window seat, so, like, You're the first one that needs to be doing sheet here, right? And he goes, Can you put these in the overhead for me? And he hands me his

Andrew: 13:14

shoes. No, put them on. You have a job to do. That's

Rich: 13:18

what I said. I immediately, like, threw my hands and was like, Ah, no, I don't want your nasty shoes, first and foremost. Secondly, no, and I literally, it was one of those days where I was like, over it anyway. And I just said, Sir, put your shoes back on. Just kept walking like I don't have time to have this conversation with you. But why are your toes out before takeoff? I mean, at all, but before takeoff, x row

Andrew: 13:43

passengers always crack me up. I think they think they got a premium seat, and that's why they opt to do right? They're literally paying the airline to do my job. You paid to do my job.

Rich: 13:56

Don't make it seem that easy.

Andrew: 14:01

It's not but you're paying to open doors, which is what I'm there for too. It's funny to me. They're always like, I got the best suit in the house. You didn't. You got work to do. Never reach across another passenger to change the windows shade. Window seat passengers get the window seat. Aisle seat gets the aisle. Middle seat gets the armrest. This isn't edit kit. It's skylaw, and we'd literally agree with you skylaw.

Rich: 14:26

Should we write a book called skylaw and put everything we believe to be true into this

Andrew: 14:31

book? Audience? You tell us

Rich: 14:34

Skylar coming to a Barnes and Noble near you?

Andrew: 14:38

But yes, we agree with you 100% that's total error. Those are the rules. That's how the seats work.

Rich: 15:45

No speaker phone conversation unless it's actually interesting. It never is.

Andrew: 15:50

We have talked about this so many times. Take your stuff off speakerphone. I don't understand. Nobody wants to be involved unless you're talking about why, baby mama. And new baby mama don't get along, and then I totally in.

Rich: 16:04

If there's, like, good tea, and, like, we can hear both sides of it, and there's like, a lot of good details, yeah, we'll consider it. But otherwise, nobody wants to know your conversation.

Andrew: 16:15

Um, I did get a fascinating one the other day that I was really glad was on speakerphone, though, because the person sitting across from me in the exit row was really mad at somebody for not being at the airport ready to pick them up when we landed, even though, you like, have a solid 20 minutes before somebody needs to be there from airplane to, like, door right, solid 20 minutes. But they were really mad that, and like, the reasons that they weren't at the airport, they just kept coming and kept getting making a ton of excuses as to why, yeah, and they just kept coming and kept getting better. And I was like, Oh, I'm here for I was, what was the reason I had popcorn? I don't know. There was traffic, and then somebody had gone to the hospital and, like, it was so they just progressed better and better. And I was like, just, broke my leg.

Rich: 17:03

What are you saying? Yeah, so those

Andrew: 17:06

days, I love speakerphone, but, like, right? Why do you need to be showing everyone the ceiling of your like, FaceTime? Oh, the FaceTime

Rich: 17:13

ones are the worst, because I'm like, What are you showing them? Yes, I get involved sometimes because I'm nosy, like that. Like, if, if it's boarding and I'm walking through the cabin and someone's on a phone call, right? I'll, like, lean over and just be like, No, she's not telling you the truth. That's not what happened, correct? Just to mess with them. And some passengers like, Oh, that's funny, like, my flight attendant, and other passengers like, why are you involved? And I'm like, why are you involved? You started it. You put it on speaker.

Andrew: 17:39

If you're taking a selfie, I'm getting in it. Yep, I don't want you to take my picture of me, but I will photo bomb.

Rich: 17:45

I will photo bomb you 100%

Andrew: 17:48

please do not use the seat in front of you as leverage to stand up this. You are doing the Lord's work right now by bringing attention

Rich: 17:57

to this is an important conversation. This should be an infomercial. Yes,

Andrew: 18:02

yeah, push up off the arm rest. Do not pull up right on the seat back. It's not, it's not how we get out doing all the time, all the time. It's like a slingshot. You're sitting there sleeping, and the next thing you know, you're like,

Rich: 18:15

like, I didn't ask for this. I

Andrew: 18:16

didn't, I did not ask for this dramatic experience. You're doing the Lord's work for highlighting this. We appreciate

Rich: 18:22

you. Yeah, the next person, they had a lot to say, but the one that really sticks out to me is make sure you have everything you need out of your bag before putting it in the overhead bin and sitting down. And this drives me nuts, because people really will do this, like they will hold up boarding they don't realize that they're the, not the only person in the world. There's 200 people behind them, and they'll just stand there, and they're like, reorganizing, just pulling out her jacket and headphones, and then they get up, like they do it repeatedly during boarding. It's like, every five minutes they get up to get something new out of their bag. And it's like, just mentally prepare yourself for this, or have it in a bag by your feet that you can easily access with some of these items.

Andrew: 19:04

It's not just boarding. They hold up literal departure, because they've stood up 13 times and, like, literally, right before the airplane is taking off, the bag that should be under your seat is in the overhead bin, and you think, oh, I need my heart medication. Like, why is that not under your seat, easily accessible?

Rich: 19:20

The medication thing kills me, though, because it's like, you didn't forget that you need this medicine to live.

Andrew: 19:26

No, it's like, when you come on the plane, like, seven feet tall, and you're like, is an exit row seat available? It is. Could I move to it? Because I'm tall, you didn't wake up tall today, sir. I wish I did. But and that exit row seat has been available the whole time. You could have gotten it. The other one in this post that I really like is, take your headphones off when the flight attendants get to your row and are speaking to you, noise canceling headphones are going to be the demise of our society. Oh, 100%

Rich: 19:53

have you seen that? There's like a cartoon by jet lagged comic where the flight attendants are in their crew life vests and they're in the raft in the water, and there's still a whole airplane of people behind them, and you just see them all in the window, sitting there with no noise canceling headphones on, for sure. As much as that's a joke, it's not a joke, because people really will, like, the plane could crash, and people would either be filming it, or they would be watching a movie, like, I swear people just they have no idea what's going on around them. None it's concerning. None at all. Our

Andrew: 20:26

next piece of advice is that you should always say Hello, good morning and thank you to the crew, especially the flight attendants. Pay attention during the safety demonstration, and don't bring stuff with you if you need to evacuate. Leave your bags on the plane. I don't

Rich: 20:44

know how many times you can say this to people like and the stories that keep hitting the media about plane incidents like, whether it's a crash or it's just an evacuation for smoke or fire or whatever the case may be, there's always people rolling out of these. Airplanes with suitcases. And like, who there was one word like, the mom came out with her kid and she had a suitcase. And it's like you're not putting yourself and your child in danger by trying to take a suitcase, let alone the people that are behind you in said burning aircraft waiting for you to do all of this. Like it's so selfish to take a bag with you in an evacuation. I don't care if you think, Oh, this isn't a full crash, this isn't a huge deal. Oh, it's whatever. You don't know that. Like, you don't know when an aircraft is going to go into flames. Like you have no idea that this minor little thing that seems like it's not that big of a deal is going to blow up into a worse situation. And if you're at the point where you're evacuating in an aircraft, it's critical do not take your bags with you

Andrew: 21:47

well. And we talk about this all the time, there's nothing, there's nothing in any bag that you brought on the airplane that is worth someone else's life. And you don't know if you'll get stuck. I mean, I know that you're going to get stuck on an armrest because you did it coming into the airplane, your straps are gonna get like you leaving the airplane really quick, but there's nothing in your bag that is worth a human life. And I'm gonna go back because we hit the heavy stuff, but like I'm standing there saying good morning. Just say good morning back. And I know that you guys, simple pilots, did the heavy lifting, so you'll, like, scream over us into the flight deck to say thank you, but like, we were there too, right? We worked as well. We have nothing wrong with you. Thank you. No, not at all great, but we love them who answered your call bell. You don't scream over us to like, thank them and ignore us as you walk out the plane like, Thank you. Thank you pilots, thank you flight attendants. We appreciate all of you. We all equally worked that day,

Rich: 22:51

and to be honest, there's an evacuation. Some of those pilots are going to be out before us, and they who's going to be there to the last person off the plane, it's the flight attendants. So say thank you.

Andrew: 23:03

Next. Next up is tap or touch a flight attendant. This is in has come up so many times, and it bears repeating because it continues to happen. People love to grab us, touch us, poke us, personal space. I say it so many times from your seated position to my standing position. There are not a lot of appropriate places for you to touch me. I was walking down the aisle the other day, and this lady's hand got between my thighs, and I was like, how did you get there? How did you get there? How was that your go to place? How did you get between my legs like that. Buy me dinner first, at least. All right, sure if you want to, if you want dinner, I don't need dinner. I just need you to stop touching us. Don't touch us. Don't take pictures of us. Facts. Stop doing it. We don't like it, but mostly because there's no appropriate place for really, to touch us. Yeah, don't move another passenger's bag from one overhead to another without their consent.

Rich: 24:07

I would agree with that. No, no, you don't agree with that. Full disagree. Full stop. I mean, you don't think you should make some sort of effort to, like, find out whose it is before you do that.

Andrew: 24:17

Sure don't, huh? You put it in a shared space. Oh, we're all trying to make the most accommodate the most bags that we possibly can. If you threw your backpack up there and there's a smaller hole that'll fit your backpack, and I can fit a bag, I'm gonna move it if you can't, if you don't know what your bag looks like, to like, stand up and see that that's my bag that's on you. That's but, like, I'm aware, because they steal my bag all the time, that most people don't even know what bags they brought on the plate that's spotlight you. You put it in a shared space, it's gonna get touched. If you don't want your bag touched, check it or put it under your seat, but the moment you put it in an overhead bin, it becomes fair game. And you obviously disagree with me on that. So you like, pull them out and like ask people who stay okay.

Rich: 25:00

So I will say I will move it eventually, but I make some sort of effort to be like, whose bag is this? I'm moving it over here. I don't do a lot of follow up to be like, Oh, it's yours. Okay, whatever. Like, I say it loudly, if they're listening cool, if they're not, then whatever your bag is getting moved. But I do like to make some sort of attempt when moving people's bags, because, I mean, it is nice to know.

Andrew: 25:25

I mean, it's courteous. I don't disagree with you, but I feel like airplane etiquette, if you're putting your bag in an overhead bin, air clean, airplane etiquette is to expect your bag to be touched and moved around. To have an expectation that your bag will not be touched is unrealistic. Yeah, that's fair, because we're always moving, honestly, downright stupid as crew, we're always rearranging. That's fair. Yeah. Next is use headphones. Use headphones. Use headphones one more time for the people in the back of the airplane, use headphones respectfully. Use your headphones. Take them off when people are standing in front. Of you speaking to you as you board an airplane. Remove a headphone so that you can blow to the crew hear what someone's saying to you, like Good morning. If you know you're in an exit row, sit down. Take your headphone off until you've been briefed appropriately so we don't have to fight you over your headphones or whether you're listening to us. Use your headphones, but use them respectfully and appropriately. Yeah,

Rich: 26:22

but nobody wants to hear your game. Nobody wants to hear your text tone dingy. I don't care

Andrew: 26:27

that mom woke up and was having a hard time using the bathroom today. I don't care that's between you and your mom. It has nothing to do with me. It's really not

Rich: 26:37

something people on the plane next up is do prepare what you want at your seat before you board, so you can put your stuff overhead, under seat immediately. Do not take your shoes off. Do bring sour gummy bears for the flight attendants. That one's really specific, but okay, I like sour gummy bears and do not wear a cloud of perfume. I definitely like that. This person has a lot of opinions, but I agree with most of them, just again with boarding, like it's such a like constricted amount of time, and there's only so much you can do in a 30 minute, 40 minute period. Like it helps when you are prepared, get ready to just sit down and be out of the way. Don't use that as personal time, right?

Andrew: 27:23

That part, this is my favorite one.

Rich: 27:25

Same you ready? Should not poop. Should not poop.

Unknown: 27:32

I don't think it's realistic. What's the phrase, shit happens?

Rich: 27:42

I mean, I understand the sentiment. It's gross. People don't like it. It's a confined space, but at the end of the day, you got to do what you got to do, just maybe be respectful about it. Yeah, in some way, if you can, yeah,

Andrew: 27:58

pack up potpourri, potpourri. Yes, you can, like, spritz a plane before spritz a bathroom before you walk out of it. They've travel size one. Close the door behind you. Poo. Pourri, if you'd like to sponsor us. The next one is really funny, though, because it says what you should you do or not do, and this one says snore. So I'm not sure if you should or shouldn't snore, shouldn't store. It feels like they meant do not snore, but also maybe it means snore. But I feel like this is like the last one, like something that you can help, like, if you're a snore, you're going to snore, right? And I do struggle with if you know that you're a big snore, you should probably just plan to not sleep.

Rich: 28:40

Well, that's not realistic either. And I feel bad for people that snore, because true like, what you don't get to sleep because other people, I mean, wear headphones, wear earplugs, whatever. But, yeah, I don't know that's that's a debatable one. What do you guys think? Should you snore or not snore? Should the snores be punished

Andrew: 28:58

when you see the reels? We're ready for your comments on this one.

Rich: 29:02

So next up is keep conversations to a whisper. Love that this bachelor party, bachelorette party situation where people think the airplane is a bar, not into it, let the middle seat of both armrests, that's been discussed many times, and we agree, and then eat food with strong odors outside the airplane. Don't look at me like that. I'm not looking at you like that. I feel like that's a very judgmental look. Is it targeted? Because it's maybe I, you know how I feel about this. I You just shouldn't have strong smelling food on an airplane. It's rude. Maybe you and the galley find whatever you're having lunch, but for these passengers that are like, crammed in a middle seat and you're literally in breathing space of another person, they shouldn't have their tuna sandwich

Andrew: 29:50

or whatever. I mean, raw egg, like boiled eggs are really the only thing I don't think you should have on an airplane. But, and I'm there's one co worker who I'm gonna feel like he's gonna yell at me for calling him out. I'm so sorry. Well, I can't wait. Let's conversation. This wasn't a call out for you, but I just feel like hard boiled eggs are like my my non, my non. So the next one is, please flush the toilet. Ask where the flight attendant. Ask where the flush button is. If you're not sure, wash your hands. We know when you don't. We know. We know a lot about in there. That's really weird, but

Rich: 30:27

only because we're seated uncomfortably close to that bathroom. We don't want to know, but we're forced to

Andrew: 30:32

know when you flush. We know when you wash your hands. We know a lot about what's going on in that bathroom. Don't make the flight attendant put down your tray table if you want to drink or snack. I don't know what flight attendants are doing is, but I'm not touching tray tables. No, I'll just stand there and hold this stuff until you figure it out. Don't talk over the safety demo. Oh, I like that one. I really do. And I talk about this a lot. We've had a couple interviews, and I just feel like that's the thing. Like, take your headphones out. Or pull out the safety information card. You might be familiar with the airplane and the goings on, but like that, like behavior is replicated. So like other people will be like, Oh, wait, I need to pay attention. So like, stop pay attention. All airplanes are similar, but they're all just a little bit different, right? So, like, pay attention. Hurt to know, yeah, if we're walking out into the aisle for something, there's usually information that you need to know. So like, pay attention and use the bathroom before you get on the flight. Agreed.

Rich: 31:35

Oh, you agree? I do. I mean, I think it's smart, best practice there. Okay, you don't agree.

Andrew: 31:43

I mean, I don't care. I don't have a preference. I don't have a strong opinion on where you use the bathroom, unless you're leaving the plane. And then I say my bathroom is off limit.

Rich: 31:54

We're closed.

Andrew: 31:56

I mean, before the what you should keep in mind about using the airplane of the bathroom before you get on the flight, or when you're leaving, right is that, generally, that's when the bathrooms are being serviced. So like, they don't flush, water doesn't run like they don't work. So we're not being rude when we say they're out of service, like they're actually being serviced. They don't work right now. So if they the airplane has been powered off, the bathrooms don't work. So like, maybe consider an inside bathroom. But we know people rush for things. We know that you need a bathroom when you get on an airplane. I do. I don't care. Next is, please shower and put on clean clothes. I mean, hopefully the second part of this is where I struggle skip Taco Bell before you bored? Ah, if there's a Taco Bell, I'm not skipping it, correct? I promise you, wherever there's a Taco Bell, I will be there and I will stand 10 toes down on this. If you're ever in the Dominican Republic, they have the best Taco Bell in the world. I will stand 10 toes down, go inside and get Taco Bell in the Dominican Republic, punakana specifically, but the Dominican Republic has the best Taco Bell I've ever had. So Okay, enjoy your Taco

Rich: 33:09

Bell. Taco Bell Cantina in Vegas. That shit

Andrew: 33:12

is good. Oh, yeah, but I don't know that like flavor of the meat in the Dominican Republic. Oh, I'm sure it's delicious, different, and

Rich: 33:18

it's so good. Well, that's also how we feel about KFC in Jamaica. That is a whole different animal. That stuff is good if you haven't had KFC when you're in Jamaica. Do it. I'm not talking about like the airport

Andrew: 33:31

one I know. I also need you all to know that we really were not going to talk about food on this airport so on any of these episodes. So like, That's how important Taco Bell and Dominican Republic is to me, we are finding a common theme of our podcast episodes I talk about almost always come back to food in some way. The episode could be nothing about food, nothing. It's always coming back. So that's how important it is to me. Stop believing you own the overhead bin directly above your seat number, if it's full, move forward or backward until you find space. Yes, 1000 times, yes. This drives me nuts. 1000 times it's shared space. You got it on the plane. You didn't have to go to baggage claim. That's the important part here. If you have to sit and wait a couple minutes for a few rows to clear out so you can get back to your bag, that's what you're going to have to do to not utilize the space under your seat. But, like, stop pitching a baby tantrum over the fact that you couldn't put it right above your head, right?

Rich: 34:31

And the thing that drives me nuts about this just the like, physics of it, like, think about the amount of space in a row, the amount of space in an overhead there's say, on a general, regular old airplane, there's six people in a row. There's not enough space for six people to keep their bags directly above that seat. Like, it's just like common sense and spatial whatever, like, I don't understand why people get so frustrated by that. Next up, if you have a terrible cough, bring something to cover your mouth, beside your hand, like wearing a mask. I mean, I would agree with that. I feel like it's it's just common courtesy. If you're sick, first of all, don't fly. But if you don't have that option, and you have a trip booked and you need to go like least you can do is wear a mask or do something to kind of minimize the risk that you're putting other people at Ditto.

Andrew: 35:26

Respectfully, I agree with my husband on this one. So respectfully, respectfully, ditto. Don't run to the front unless you're going to miss your connecting flight. Respectfully, don't run to the front of the airplane

Rich: 35:40

like at all, at all. No charging the front of the airplane. It's not great. The thing about this one is I really feel like in recent times, there's been more and more just getting up and like, you know, we kind of expect when the seat belt sign goes off, that everybody gets up. But on those flights, when there isn't that situation, when like half the airplane is sitting. Down, there's people from the back. They get up and just start walking. And I'm like, where are you going? Like, I just think it's so rude to not wait your turn. Like, this isn't like a train where it's like, okay, these people must be getting off at the next stop. Like, everyone's sitting because they're waiting for their turn to get up. Like you in row 29 don't get to now walk up in front of all these people just because they decided to sit and be respectful. Like the lack of decency that people have towards each other is kind of getting crazy to me,

Andrew: 36:32

respectfully when the plane stops at the gate and the seat belt sign is turned off, stay seated. Don't rush a galley. We have things we have to do to get the door open so you bum rushing a galley helps no one. And also just stay seated until the row in front of you stands that way. People bring back a couple rows to get their bags. Everyone will get off. There's no traffic jams this way. Just stay seated until the people in front of you are ready to leave the airplane.

Rich: 37:01

Don't unwrap any pungent or fishy smelling food

Andrew: 37:07

and stop looking at me. I eat tuna fish and I eat beef jerky. Leave me alone.

Rich: 37:12

Don't take your shoes off unless you have clean feet and clean socks.

Andrew: 37:16

Or we could just say, don't take your shoes off. Love that.

Rich: 37:19

Never put your feet anywhere but in your own private space. I think we've covered that really well. To correct, don't change your baby anywhere but the place provided. And by that, I mean not on the tray table. Don't do

Andrew: 37:31

it on the tray table. Don't do it in the seats. Go to the bathroom that way you have somewhere to dispose of the diaper after it's done. And I think parents forget that, like it's human feces that and like those seats don't necessarily get wiped or, like sanitized between every passenger. I mean, they do right between every

Rich: 37:55

floor. You're right, and I get stop it. People don't realize that, like those tree tables are cleaned in some stations and not others. They're not cleaned every flight, but I've seen people change diapers on them. I've seen people take naps on them. I've seen people dump their food out directly on them and eat straight off the tree table, like it's their toenails on them, like shave their head on those tree tables. Have been through it and think twice before you're using it for whatever you're using it for.

Andrew: 38:23

Yeah, and take your babies to the bathroom where there's a changing table, please. Thanks. We appreciate you for that.

Rich: 38:30

So before we go, shall we dive into another story from our galley gossip section? We should? We should? We should. Okay, so today's story for those of you that don't know, each time on our podcast, we dive into some galley gossip. For those of you that don't know, you can go to two guys on a plane comm slash podcast and submit your stories. You can be anonymous if you want to, but you don't have to be, as long as the stories are real. And we like to share stories from our listeners. And this story is from Eli. He's from the UK. Eli was flying from London to Tampa. He's a flight attendant, and he said this was a long haul flight. He was alone in the mid galley when passengers came in and to told me to sorry, alert the captain immediately as something is coming out of the engine. And it was of great concern, trying to remember my training. I asked her for as much detail and to show me what she was looking at so I could explain to the pilots, we look out of the window at 4l and we see nothing. So I asked her to explain again, whilst trying to keep calm, she then explains it was air colored coming out of the back of the engine and looked like a cloud. Oh, that would be the jet stream. Madam and I proceeded to explain to her, in layman's terms, how an airplane works. What a waste of my adrenaline.

Andrew: 39:54

I just really was expecting there to be a colonial woman sitting on the waiting

Rich: 39:59

on the plane. She's turning butter. Honestly, this is that kind of passenger, though, like having a meltdown over correct I understand, just like contrails coming out of the engine, like it's just part of aviation and how airplanes work, and how air and condensation and all of those things work. So yeah, that's a great story. Eli, it's always funny what passengers think they see and don't see out the window. But keep sending us your stories. We love reading them, and we hope you love listening to them. We want to say thank you again for listening, and also for those of you that are supporting us on Patreon, we are so appreciative of your support. If you haven't joined us already, go to patreon.com/two guys on a plane and join our Patreon community as a thank you. We you will get lots of behind the scenes content, bloopers, extra footage, extra episodes, bonus content and more. We've got merch and all sorts of fun stuff for you. So thank you for supporting our show. We truly could not do this without you join

Andrew: 40:57

us next time for more humor, heart and stories from November. Cart.

Rich: 41:01

This episode was brought to you by staff traveler, the number one non rev app if you travel on standby tickets and are looking to make your journey easy and stress free, check out the staff traveler app in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Visit staff traveler.com/two guys to learn more and sign up

Buzz Burbank: 41:19

in ironic Media Productions. Visit us at i r, o, n, i C, K, media.com, you.