What Passengers Hate About Flight Attendants

In this episode, we decided to flip the script a bit. You hear us complain about passengers all the time—on the podcast, on the jumpseat, in the galley, everywhere. So today, we handed the mic to you: the passengers. We asked what flight attendants do that drives you nuts, and wow… you did not hold back. From safety announcements you swear are unintelligible, to overhead bin drama, to call bells, credit card pitches, bad perfume, and everything in between—you told us exactly how you feel, and we’re diving right into it.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Two Guys episode if we didn’t get sidetracked ranting about our own recent flights, telling wild stories from the aisle, and laughing at the absolutely unbelievable stuff people do at 35,000 feet. And yes—we even squeeze in a round of galley gossip that may or may not involve a cowboy hat, Stampede Week, and a full-on swan dive in an airport arrivals hall. Buckle up… this one gets chaotic.

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Episode Highlights:

[0:02] Opening the conversation: what you hate about flight attendants
[1:22] Drew’s chaotic week: strollers, messes, and aisle-walking mayhem
[4:37] Rich’s “is that the last bag of chips?” galley encounter
[6:00] The guy who straight-up ate Drew’s salad
[7:10] Your complaints begin: announcements no one can understand
[8:54] Half cups of water and why it might be your doing
[10:39] Credit card pitches—love them or hate them
[12:14] Babies in the aisle and why bumps happen
[13:43] Overhead bin accusations: are we lying?
[15:44] Call bells: why we don’t always see them right away
[18:30] Trash collection etiquette and “you missed me!”
[20:03] Peanut allergies and misunderstood “lectures”
[22:01] Handling rude passengers when airlines won’t back us
[23:44] Bag lifting: what we legally can’t do for you
[25:17] Yes, you are interrupting our break in the galley
[27:02] Sweat, perfume, and the reality of polyester at 35,000 feet
[29:41] The gin-and-tonic eyebrow raise—when alcohol becomes a concern
[31:21] Bulkhead bins and why crew bags sometimes go there
[33:27] No photos of the crew—please stop doing that
[34:27] Loud galley talk on night flights: we explain
[35:47] “You ski

Transcript

Rich: 0:02

Ever wondered what your flight attendants are really talking about behind the galley curtain?

Andrew: 0:06

Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an insider look at flight attendant life.

Rich: 0:11

We're your hosts, rich and Drew, and we're here to tell you what really goes on at 35,000 feet.

Andrew: 0:16

So sit back, relax. We're ready for takeoff.

Rich: 0:21

So we always talk about what passengers do that annoys us as flight attendants, always, always. I mean, I feel like we're talking about this pretty regularly, especially on this podcast, also on a jump seat. Sure, we're always talking about what passengers annoy do that annoys us. And today we're gonna flip the script a little bit, and we asked our audience, you fellow passengers out there, what annoys you about flight attendants? What is it about flight attendants that really drives you crazy? What has happened to you on flights that you don't like? And we figured it was only fair, since we're always criticizing passengers that we should maybe look in the mirror for a moment and decide, decide what, uh, what we could be doing better for passengers. Some of the answers are good. Some of the answers are not so good. I don't like mirrors, but no time for self reflection. So today we're gonna dive into that. But first, Andrew, what's going on flying lately? What kind of anything you want to rant about

Andrew: 1:22

it's been a rough few weeks of flying. Honestly, that summer flying is never fun. I don't know why I keep bidding so much of it, but I just feel like the amount of kids and strollers, why do we need all of these? The strollers of the kids both, okay? The answer is both there. I just don't understand. Forgive me, parents and friends that have children. I'm very sorry for my following comments, but like I know it takes a lot to travel with kids, but I don't understand why it takes so much to travel with kids, and then I understand it, if you have one child with you, that maybe this is your first time doing this, but like, you have three kids with you, this is not your first time on an airplane. This is not your first rodeo. And yet you still don't know where to put your stroller or how to collect your car seat. You still don't know that it takes a half hour to get your car seat up to you. So you like, keep coming back to me on the airplane to, like, figure out where your stuff is going to be. It didn't change. It's just not there yet. Like, I don't, I don't know how to help people who don't want to help themselves, and it's frustrating.

Rich: 2:32

Yeah, I I'm a little more lenient with, like, first time parents that are traveling, because it's overwhelming. There's a lot that goes into flying, but to some degree, you've got to do some research before you get on a plane with an armful of kids and bags and strollers. Like it's the lack of awareness that really bothers me. It's not that I mind helping first time parents, but it's like you did no research. You have no idea how this works.

Andrew: 2:58

You know what part really angers me, though, is the mess that's left behind. Like you knew that you were standing up to that mess you. Yeah, that's the part that really makes me mad. And you thought someone else would clean this up, right? No, you thought it was okay for your child to, like, crunch Cheetos into the floor. I'm really angry at you for this, for this. Sorry, we're not you're again. I'm sorry parents, but this is, it's been a lot of kids recently. This is a lot of my day. And oh, why do you have to walk them up and down the galley? You have to, like, walk them up and down the aisle all the time. They're not sleeping. They weren't crying. This isn't

Rich: 3:36

about them. This isn't a gym like, this isn't a jungle gym, yeah,

Andrew: 3:41

but they're not crying. They're they weren't crying. When you stood up, they weren't crying. I got in this fight with this lady because it was so turbulence, and she, like, wouldn't sit down. She like, pushed a flight attendant out of the way, and then, like, yelled at her for telling her that the seat belt sign was on. I finally went to her husband, and I was like, listen, I said, like, she just assaulted a flight attendant. I said, I understand that she's stressed. I understand that this is a stressful situation that she's in, but she laid her hands on another human being. So you need to go back there and you need to tell your wife to stop or, like, this is gonna escalate, and it's not gonna end well for like, any of you. Yeah. And he was like, I'm so sorry. And I was like, it's fine, but she needs to apologize to that flight attendant. Or, like, this turns into a thing now.

Rich: 4:29

Well, damn No wonder you're coming home from work so angry lately, right?

Andrew: 4:34

It's a lot. It's been a lot. What about you?

Rich: 4:37

Well, my rant is, is random, because I was sitting in the back galley eating lunch the other day, and I'm having a sandwich and like a little bag of chips that I brought from home, and this guy is standing there waiting for the bathroom. And you know when you're like sitting you're facing the back of the airplane on your jump seat and the bathroom? Here, and like you can feel a person's presence here, I just feel this man standing here staring at me.

Andrew: 5:05

It's worse than feeling their presence is when they're so close you can actually feel them

Rich: 5:10

or smell them. Don't want to smell you. So I'm sitting there, and he looks down, and he goes, Wow. And I was like, Can I help you? And he goes, is that the last bag of chips? And I turned around, and I was like, I'm sorry, what? And he goes, Did you see a bag of chips? And he goes, Well, I was gonna ask you for some chips, but it looks like you ate them all. And I was like, first of all, I brought these from home. Second of all, we don't even sell chips. Like, I don't know what you're going on about, and it's just, it's the my rant is the passengers that just get up in our business. Like, you can come to the galley, you can, you know, chat if you want to, or ask if you need something. But why are you commenting on my lunch? There's you have no business being back here, looking at my lunch, asking about my lunch, asking questions. Like, just mind your business.

Andrew: 6:00

Honestly, I'm really glad that they just commented on them. I was having lunch one day, and I not to one up you on this story, but I was having lunch one day, somebody rang a call bell. I walked out to so I put my salad on the galley counter to, like, go answer a call bell. I come back and I find the person eating my salad. You're like, half eaten, already started? Yes. I was like, What are you doing? And he was like, Well, I just thought this was leftover,

Rich: 6:26

leftover from what the buffet we didn't have on the flight. Like, what is wrong with people? And people are always like, Oh, this stuff didn't really happen. Blah, blah, blah, and I wish it didn't. I wish these aren't true stories. I wish they weren't true so regular occurrences, like every day, you think, I can't possibly be surprised by passing and you wonder why we're short and snappy with people. Yeah, every day you wonder, I don't know if I can be surprised by people anymore. I think I've seen it all.

Andrew: 6:52

And every day they always have something do something different.

Rich: 6:56

So Well, now that we've spent the first few minutes of this episode bitching about passengers, let's start bitching about flight attendants. Shall we? Yes, let's see what you guys wrote in for us and said that bothers you about what flight attendants are doing.

Andrew: 7:10

I want to know if you do this or not. So that's my thing. I would need to know if you do these that like as we read them. I'm gonna do them or not. I'll tell you all about it. Okay, so the first one that I have is not making the safety or other announcements in a voice and cadence that makes the words understandable, not running through the announcement so fast that it's all one word, holding the speaker in a way that the you're talking about PILOTs, not flight attendants. Yeah, that's what I'm holding the speaker in a way that the mouth, that the words aren't mumbled. I really want to do it right now, but I feel like I'll get in trouble for eating this microphone. But I swear they put the whole but I swear they put the whole thing in their mouth and they're like, Wow. I'm like, wow, it's then you walk in the flight deck, and they're like, you get to that? And I was like, No,

Rich: 7:56

not a word. I have no idea who can understand your announcements.

Buzz Burbank: 8:01

Oh, so,

Rich: 8:04

yeah, I don't, I don't feel like I mumble. I definitely read fast, though. I definitely say announcements quickly, like I just want to get it over with, and half the people aren't listening anyway. So if you're worried about understanding the announcement, I'm not really worried about it, because you're not. Half of you aren't listening anyway, and the people that are listening probably know what I'm talking about.

Andrew: 8:24

I don't want to brag, but I get a lot of compliments on this. I do believe that I'm pretty clear and concise. I don't I don't really rush or I don't do it slow, but I don't like run through it either. Not to brag. I'm a pretty good announcement maker. There's always one in every cruise. Like, I have great announcement. No, I don't have great announcements, but I'm gonna read the words I do it well, all right, yeah, I'm not that person. Go for it, buddy. Ask my coworker. I don't. I do make a lot of announcements, but

Rich: 8:54

that doesn't surprise me at all. You make a lot of announcements at home. Next up is pouring a half a glass of water. This one is so random to me, but also honest how many times we're doing the beverage service and you ask for a cup of water and you end up handing it back to us full. So it's like half the time when we give you less than, you know, a full glass of water. It's because we're tired of throwing away water like we're wasting resources, and airlines were already wasting so many resources as it is, I hate to do more of it than we need to.

Andrew: 9:27

Rich is being really diplomatic right now by telling you that it's a it's a waste problem. I want to know what you did to the flight attendants to deserve a half a half a cup of water. Because if you're getting a half a cup of water from me, I don't like to

Rich: 9:39

me that's such a good point.

Andrew: 9:42

It's a you problem, and I'm just proving that we're not on the same page here.

Rich: 9:47

Like if someone asked for extra ice and you don't like them, so you just, you feel the one more overflowing. No, no, I feel it's over. Yeah? And I just stand there, and I just keep handing them cups and cups of ice. What the hell's. Going on. I'm like, you said extra ice. You didn't say when

Andrew: 10:04

you don't, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's a you did something to the flight attendant to get a half a cup of water, because that's the flight attendant I am. Agreed you get on the PA system to push to the airline's credit card. I'm paying enough to fly that flight, but should not have to hear your commercial on top of it. I mean, we agree. I agree. I don't really love the credit card announcements, but some of them do have a good program, and if that's what you want, that's how you get the miles, like you want the first class seat, you want the status, you you got to find a way to earn the points, and those credit cards give you a good way to do it.

Rich: 10:39

Yeah, I personally find those credit card pitches aggravating as hell. I mean, I don't even participate in the program on my airline because it annoys the crap out of me so much. But at the end of the day, a lot of flight attendants, especially some of the junior ones, you know, regional ones, it's like we get a kickback for those credit card applications. And you can't fault somebody for wanting a little extra income at the end of the day, especially when flight attendant flight attendants are already underpaid as it is. So I don't fault people for doing it, and I do agree that some of our co workers go off book a little bit with the script there and make up their own little announcements. Some people like decorate carts and roll through I don't know if I do this at your airline, but it's like, is real embarrassing. So I'm with you on that. I that sort of stuff definitely drives me crazy. Next up, usually I never have an issue and would never complain. Anyone who starts a sentence off with that pretty much always has an issue and is always complaining. I just, I'm gonna say that right there, but every time they come behind me on my last flight, they bumped my sleeping baby's head, and I know why? Didn't I just book a window seat? Right? Well, I did. Then my first flight was delayed three hours, oh, canceling my connecting flight, so they put me on the next flight to my destination and only had an aisle seat open. Okay, we're very cognizant of babies, and we're very aware of that sort of stuff when we're moving through the cabin. But if you're full on hanging into the aisle, it's not just us, like you've got 100 and something, 200 people on that plane wandering the aisle. We're not going to be the only ones bumping your baby like you really. Can't fault the flight attendants for that. If you're

Andrew: 12:14

hanging in the aisle with the baby, why didn't you switch the baby to the other arm? Right? Also, the aisle is this big and the cart is this big. We don't have a lot of option but to hit you if you're in the aisle, like, right? There's only so much space. CART takes up the whole entire aisle.

Rich: 12:34

Yeah, I would agree with that. It's like, Oh, my baby is in the aisle here. Oh, why are you hitting my baby? No shit. Sherlock, next,

Andrew: 12:51

I think we covered that with just fine lying about overhead bins being full and making people check bags. This is literally not a flight attendant thing. We don't lie about them, if we don't tell you to start leaving your bags until we are absolutely certain that there are no bags left. That is not a system of a flight attendant. I mean, the gate agents get prompts. They're told that airplane only holds so many bags. I'm gonna finish reading this before I start ranting. I'm already angry about it. I'm so sorry lying about overhead bins being full and making people check bags. I've seen it several times. Even overheard them giggling and telling the remaining passengers that they can't bring bags on. We are not doing that. I'm so struggling over this. That's not even a system of our job. We don't check the bags like we the gate agents do that. They get an alert on their screen that says too many people have brought bags on and they start doing it.

Rich: 13:43

And even if we are doing it like the old fashioned way, like we're communicating with the agents and telling them, okay, no more bags, like we're doing it when it's full, or when we know there's so many bags in the aisle and the last few spots are about to be gone. It's not a perfect science, like we understand that there are going to be times where you're gonna see extra space. Whoops, sorry,

Andrew: 14:03

you know, but like, somebody got up and pulled a backpack that shouldn't have been up there down, and now we have a hole like, I cannot imagine anyone like, because for us, that's really stressful, because we end up having bags start piling up in places, bags don't belong, and then we've got people, and there's just not enough space on the plane to have more bags than overhead bin space. So, like, if we cut it, we usually have about five or six bags in the galley that we don't know what to do with already. We're not just out here being like, he know it'll be fun.

Rich: 14:35

And we swear people think that we as flight attendants are just like, out to piss off passengers. And I promise you, that's like the last thing we want to do if you're in a bad mood, where you think we want to deal with that, right? Yeah, and that delays a flight so fast too. Like with we don't want bags piling up places, no.

Andrew: 14:53

Also put your small bags under the seat instead of the bin, and then you'll help us get more of these bags on so the. Guy isn't mad that we're checking bags.

Rich: 15:01

Yeah, people refuse to do that sort of thing and help each other, and then they're all mad at us. And it's like, be mad at your friends. Be mad at the guy next to you who insisted on having leg room for a 45 minute

Andrew: 15:12

flight when he can't fit his legs under that seat. Anyways, if the airplane is not shaped for you to like

Rich: 15:18

the way you have to contort your body to stretch. No, it's a good point. It's not even worth it, isn't it funny how we have an episode complaining about and we just found a way to keep bitching about passengers interesting Next up, ignore when they're called upon. Even if the calling button is lit for a long time, they sometimes look the other way, on purpose guilty.

Andrew: 15:44

I'm not saying I'm not guilty. I really try to answer them. I think, though, that realistically, what people should understand is that if we're standing in the aisle, they're really hard to see. Like, I call it the cone of silence. It's also a cone of blindness. If we if our head is up between those bins, those lights are really hard to see. And then also, it is inevitable that if one is pushed, like six are pushed, and like, the systems on the airplane only tell us the first one that was pushed. So we might be like working them. You might have to wait because we're working because every time we turn one off the next one, it tells us where the next one is, but it won't tell us where the next one is until we clear the very first one that was pushed so

Rich: 16:29

that's a really good point, because, you know, say, 12 goes off, and then all of a sudden, you're about to go answer the call bell in 1224, now goes off. You're gonna skip past 24 and go to 12, because A, that's the one that you saw on the little screen that we have, and B, that's the one that went first. So like, maybe

Andrew: 16:47

now watch me wake three trips to the galley, because I had to go out to get 12. I had to go get their order. I had to go back to them. I had to go back to the galley to figure out where the next light was. Because I'm being honest you guys, it is like being up there between those bins, you know nothing I can't hear or see anything. That's so true. So I we feel your pain on that we really do. Because I don't like making 86 trips to a galley. What's that? Comedian, Pan Am touched a trolley the galley look busy. It's not what's happening. But it is funny. This one says, not, let me on

Rich: 17:27

the not, let me on. I kept this one in there because she said, not, let me on. The hell did you do? Right? What the hell did you What are you not telling us?

Andrew: 17:37

Please follow up, because there's a story here. We we don't just be like, No,

Rich: 17:42

I'm gonna go ahead and call this person out too. It's shout out to my Rex. Oh, it's a dog. Oh, I wonder what happened there. Service, animal cabin, pet issue.

Andrew: 17:54

I mean, some airlines don't allow pets. So like, I wonder

Rich: 17:58

what happened there. Follow up with us. We want to know more about what happened to you, and I'm gonna, I want to tell you how to tell you how to get on the plane. Rex, right? Because, if it's a dog, now we're feeling sympathetic or sad, but if it was just you as the human, what did you do wrong? Is really the question, right? The next one, only thing is a slight inconvenience, is when they do trash back to front and I don't see them coming, and I have to keep my plastic cup in the seat back until the cabin gets prepared for landing. It's a rough life, but I survive. Truthfully, we agree.

Andrew: 18:30

Well, I agree with you on this. We were talking about it the other day. I like, turn if I'm going to do it back to front. I like, turn and face the passengers so I can see if they hold something up to go back to them. I don't ever walk through the cabin like, yeah, facing the front of the plane. Like, I'll turn around and face the back of the plane so that I can walk with my back towards the flight deck as I walk up to the front of the

Rich: 18:51

plane, right? Because that avoids this whole issue all together. Then you don't have people being like, Oh, you miss me, correct? That's when people start grabbing you too. They start pulling. Up. Don't touch us. Don't touch stop touching us. But that's when people start poking my trash. Don't poke me with trash, correct?

Andrew: 19:07

Don't touch me at all. Don't do it.

Rich: 19:10

Yeah, I usually just, I mean, I'll go to the front and start there, like, I'll bring the trash bag up and start and work my way back, because I have to go to the back anyway.

Andrew: 19:18

So see, I generally work the front of the airplane. So if I'm in the back of the airplane starting, I'm making my way to the front anyway. So that's why I turn around and face yeah, like I'm not going to the back

Rich: 19:30

either way. I think the rule applies that you're pretty much just doing trash in the direction of where you need to go.

Andrew: 19:37

Yes, but I do try to make sure that people can see me. So I hear your complaint, and I agree with you, I always get in trouble for having a peanut allergy. They try to make me eat stuff on the plane, even though I physically can't, most often, and then get upset that I didn't request a special meal. Most airlines have dietary requests except a peanut allergy, specifically so I literally can't, and I always get. Lectured about it. The first question hurts my feelings.

Rich: 20:03

Well, yeah, I mean, I'm sad for this person, but who's forcing you to eat airplane food? I've never once been like you must eat this meal like, I don't understand that part of it.

Andrew: 20:15

Oh, I would be, I would be that. No soup for you, guy, no soup for you. What? If you don't eat this meal, you don't get anything else. No soup for you?

Rich: 21:26

Well, yeah, but I'm not forcing them to eat it. Oh, yeah, that's what they're saying here, right? So that's odd to me.

Andrew: 21:32

Are they spoon feeding you? I don't get it. I don't know. I'm also very confused about this, but I'm also really sad that you feel this way, that you feel like you're being lectured and forced to eat things because you shouldn't be. I mean, your allergy should be respected. I think, from me to you, if we're talking about this, I don't want to lecture you, but we really don't have options, right? Don't pre order. It's not like a restaurant where I can go scrape the peanuts off of it for you. So maybe it's coming across as a lecture when they're really just trying to, like, explain what's happening. But if you don't special order, we don't have options for you. We can't, like, run back and make you we don't have a chef on board to make you a new a new meal.

Rich: 22:16

I also don't know that they're necessarily lecturing you as maybe just trying to give you information about what the options are and what the options might be in the future. Most of the times, in these situations, I've seen flight attendants give information and try to be helpful, not so much lecturing somebody. So it's it's sad that you felt that way, but we definitely understand that. And unfortunately, peanut allergies, not allergies on airplanes, are hard. There's not a lot that we can do, you know, to stop other passengers and things like that. So that can be a difficult one for sure. Next one, they tolerate bad passengers because their employers don't back them up enough to cuss them out and zip tie them to the seat. I liked this one because I don't take crap from people I'm not dealing with

Andrew: 23:02

it same. Ask any of my flying partners, they'll know I'm usually the one they come to, yeah, to handle.

Rich: 23:10

They know you're gonna put your foot down and maybe be kind of an ass about it.

Andrew: 23:15

No, I always do it professionally and smartly, but I don't leave room for negotiation. I'll tell you

Rich: 23:22

that. Well, Said,

Andrew: 23:26

it's my airplane, this house gonna go today. I feel like you're the same, though you may not get called upon, but I also feel like your attitude when things start going wrong is it's my airplane. That's the way it has. It's gonna go,

Rich: 23:39

yeah, yeah. I mean, definitely, I there's rules for a reason. You don't follow them, you don't fly like it really is that simple. This is not a place where people can start doing whatever they want. Airplanes are not the place for people to have their own opinions about safety regulations and things like that. Like, you just don't get to decide that, because this is in place for everybody on board to be

Andrew: 23:59

safe, period, correct? I think this one's similar. PUT UP WITH obnoxious, oblivious or downright rude behavior of many passengers, they should be allowed an eject button. Please put this in your next comments to the airline when they send you a survey, please tell them the eject button idea.

Rich: 24:17

That's why I left this one in there. I really like their idea for an eject button. Yeah, and I think we should be allowed to use it, because we do put up with too much. I mean, science is getting pretty good. Technology is getting pretty good. We've got to get there. We've got to get to an inject button level. When they watch me struggle putting my bag in the overhead and don't offer to help me, I have short arms, and I've never been sure if it's part of their job or not, if it's not, no complaints, but I warmly thank the ones that

Andrew: 24:45

do help me. I would lead with it's not part of our jobs because so many airlines literally forbid us from helping you lift your bags. Our systems to assist you with bags are normally to check them. So if you know that you can't get the bag into the overhead bin yourself, or you're not traveling with someone who can, the gate agents are usually making about a million announcements about how our bins are going to be full and to check your bag. And so I would opt for that option before getting mad at somebody for not being able to help you?

Rich: 25:23

Yeah, I would first rely on other passengers, because your crew, nine times out of 10, will not be able to help you, especially if you have a heavy bag. Chances are if you can't lift it, we can't either, and if we do, we're not covered by our insurance. A lot of times, you know, so we get injured, moving your bag, lifting your bag, then, you know there's not also,

Andrew: 25:43

if I do get injured, you're then mad because your flight is delayed or canceled, right? Yeah.

Rich: 25:49

So definitely ask, ask round, ask other passengers. Don't be mad at your crew. There's not a lot we can do. I mean, obviously, if you're short and you do the lifting and you can't get it all the way in, like we're there to help assist you. You know, get get it all the way into the bin, rearrange it however needs to be done, but the lifting part is on

Andrew: 26:06

you, yeah, playing a game on their phones. When you go to the galley looking for a drink, they act like you're interrupting their break. You are, you are,

Rich: 26:18

I know, I think passengers fail to realize that, like, sometimes we'll work, you know, 1214, 15 hour days. We don't get a break, like we don't have scheduled lunch breaks. It's not like we clock out for 30 minutes or whatever. So like that downtime between service and call bells and, you know, cabin checks and things like that, that is the time that we have to eat and to do whatever, you know. So we kind of juggle that sort of stuff with our regular job responsibilities. So I'm sorry that you felt like you were interrupting, but sometimes it's our only, our only chance to have a minute. You know.

Andrew: 26:54

Also, I don't want to start a fight with my husband, but that's literally what your call bell is for. It gives us a chance to, like, put our lunch or phone down, or put a bookmark in our book so that we can come to you and find out how to assist you, so that you don't feel like you're interrupting us because you are.

Rich: 27:12

And I will say in this instance, like the call bell does make a lot more sense for that sort of thing in terms of like customer service, like, we call you, call upon us. We go to you. We're ready for whatever customer service need is about to happen. You catch us in the galley while we're like, eating our lunch. You came into our space, you know, like that. Usually have lettuce hanging out of my mouth. If you wander into the galley and I'm stuffing my face with food or something. Then you, you had that coming because you, you did that when they don't use deodorant and reach across you. This should be a rule for everybody, passengers. It is a rule for Well, I know it is for us, like we do have very strict codes of conduct, and we are required to have good hygiene, to smell good, to have good breath, brush our teeth, like all that stuff is written down for us as flight attendants, and I don't think people realize that,

Andrew: 28:03

but I am going to tell you some days you can do the best you can. And you have been on an airplane without an APU for six and a half hours, and you have been sweat ting in polyester, which does not breathe and does not absorb water, and you have been sweat Ting, yeah, baby girl, you gonna get a stinky armpit? I don't care. Yeah, I ain't even trying. I'm literally standing here trying not to pass out. I don't care if I smell or not. I do not well.

Rich: 28:29

And half the time, like when you're working somewhere in the summer, you know, between flights, like they power the engine zone, they turn the APU off, the plane gets hot fast. It is a metal tube sitting in the sun.

Andrew: 28:41

It's 80 degrees outside, and you've got 200 people on the plane. That's a lot of body heat that's being generated. So and so I apologize for my sweaty arm pit, but I don't care. And I reapply. And I did it once before I left, bumping into me multiple times. If I'm in an aisle seat, this is kind of the same thing with the baby. Move if you got bumped once, you should know you're in the way. Scoot in a little bit. Move we said, Excuse me, I don't move the cart through the airplane without being like, we're coming through. We're coming through. We're coming through. Like, how you say it? Just like that, yeah.

Rich: 29:18

Yeah. I mean, actually, I

Andrew: 29:19

usually say carts out, move your body parts.

Rich: 29:23

Interesting, they say, you know, like these people are wearing their noise canceling headphones, and it's like you're not listening anyway. We tried, we tried to warn you the aisle is like our office.

Andrew: 29:36

Also you knew the cart was coming through, because you get mad at us when it doesn't come

Rich: 29:41

through right give male passengers their full attention and respect, and treat women passengers in the same class like their cattle. I left this comment in because I think it's funny, because I think it's the reverse, exactly, and I treat these grown men who act like babies, like the cattle that they are. So I'm sorry that you felt disrespected. I'm assuming this person is a woman, but yeah, no, I offer

Andrew: 30:12

Have you had male flight because Correct? I'm like, is this a female flight attendant thing? Oh, maybe, maybe it's a female, because as a male, I totally ignore the other dudes on the airplane same well, not ignore what, you know what I mean, yeah, yes. Not ignore when they give you a hairy eyeball when you ask for two more gin and tonics. My first question is, how many gin and tonics Are you in when you ask? Because that's the only way you're getting

Rich: 30:42

an eyeball. For me, the fact that you're asking for two more. Are you with somebody? Are you asking for this for yourself? Like, are you getting sloppy, my friend, is that what's happening here? Because alcohol, technically, according to the Federal Aviation Regulations, you're not allowed to be drunk on a plane. Like, right? Period. It, and obviously it does happen to people, or we wouldn't have so many YouTube and Tiktok moments as we do. My question is, how are you acting, young lady,

Andrew: 31:10

yeah, cause I really feel like we don't. I mean, we do monitor them, but like, as long as you're not acting any sort of way, you don't get eyeballs from me.

Rich: 31:21

I had a flight attendant wear enough perfume to give me a headache on a seven hour flight. I didn't say anything, but isn't that like part of training?

Andrew: 31:28

No, you can't complain that we smell too good and then complain that we smell too bad. So you got to pick one, pick a lane, because I'm either wearing perfume or you're going to get a stinky armpit. Like it's not you can't have both ways. I think

Rich: 31:40

the rule is, like, we're just not allowed to smell strongly of anything, like negative or positive. But I do feel like you kind of have to pick your poison there. Do you want to smell your armpit? Or do you want some perfume?

Andrew: 31:50

Well, I don't know. I've been wearing the same scent for like, 15 years, so I'm pretty nose blind to it. Yeah. Rich always yells at me every time we go outside. My husband's like, doing a cloud of Cologne, two sprays, husband, two sprays, and I'm like, but I love it and I can't smell it yet.

Rich: 32:06

I mean, while I'm having

Andrew: 32:11

Yes, but pick a line, because we either smell good or we don't putting their bags over the bulkhead siege, which leaves no space for people sitting in the bowl kids.

Rich: 32:22

This one annoys me, because it really depends on where on the aircraft. This is happening. Like, a lot of times we don't have set or we do have set locations for our bags, and sometimes that isn't an overhead bin that might be in one of these, like, premium rows or whatever. Like, it really just depends on the airplane, and we're required to have our bags with us because they contain emergency equipment that we have to have within such and such feet of our jump seats. So it's really hard to sympathize with someone here because we're required to have our bags in certain places on the plane.

Andrew: 32:56

And also, I don't know a lot of flight attendants who don't like accommodate bags like that the best they can, right? I your roller board, depending on when you got on the airplane, may have to go a few rows back, but like the extra bags that, like most people don't have to put up, versus backpacks, computer bags. We try, I try, and I know Rich tries really hard. And I've seen a lot of flight attendants try really hard to make sure they'll stay within that space, like right above you, like we're not taking them to give them away. But I think the important part is to remember is that our bags do contain things that we need throughout the day, that we're literally required to have within a certain amount of feet of us. So it's not like we're putting our roller bags up there, because we don't know. But if you knew how many times my roller bag has been taken off by a passenger who doesn't know what their bag looks like, you would not want your bag out of eyeshot either. Yeah, honestly, like, it's so true. How do you not know what your bag looks like? Not me bitching about passengers again, like, how do you not know what your bag looks like that. You decided mine. The one back, black with back, black bag with the giant crew tag on it, right, was yours.

Rich: 34:11

Yeah, and people, I've heard stories of people like, that bag is gone. That bag is now on Columbus, Ohio, and like, has to find its way back to the flight attendant. So, yeah, you can't fault us for not wanting to have our bags

Andrew: 34:23

far away. Stop stealing my bags, and I'll keep room in the bulkhead for you.

Rich: 34:28

Next one. When they told me no photos, I was just trying to capture the moment. Oh, my God, do I go into your workplace and take photos of you while you're working? No, it's weird. Stop taking pictures of crew members. That drives me crazy. You can ask. I mean, sometimes, you know, I've posed with certain passengers or whatever, that, like, want a picture to remember their flight or whatever. But like, don't just go taking pictures or video of people that you don't know. That's just weird.

Andrew: 34:55

Also, what are you taking pictures of? Because everyone says that they'll never forget, but the moment I tell you, you can't take a picture of the flight deck, everyone seems to have forgotten. And I'm like, what? Yeah, there we have rules for a reason. There are safety things. You can't just take pictures of everything, absolutely, for a reason that we all promised never to forget. People forgot credit card announcements mid flight and talking loudly to their co workers in the galley on a night flight,

Rich: 35:27

it was the talking loudly in a galley that I wanted to keep in there, not the credit card part so much, because I, I get this. I mean, flight attendants really think that they're in some sort of, like sound proof, soundproof, like podcast recording studio or something, even back there in the galley when they were talking about people and each other. And the truth is, like the last six rows, can hear you

Andrew: 35:50

also, I understand that you came prepped to take a nap. I am legally required to stay awake. And you disagree with this. I don't disagree with you. I. Think there is a respectful level of tone that we can achieve together. But I think before you come into a galley and shush somebody, you should remember that I am just trying to stay awake because I will lose my job if my eyes even begin to like droop and pretend like I'm sleeping.

Rich: 36:20

That's funny, waking me up for food in spite of being told I didn't want to when I boarded. Um, I have never woken anybody up for anything except maybe, like, on landing, to sit you up and get your seat belt back, yeah, to, like, get you in compliance with the regular but I promise I'm not trying to do more work than I need to. So me waking you up means I have, then have to do things. Why do I don't poke the bear? Like, why would I want to angry? Why am I gonna go out of my way and wake a sleepy person? The same goes for the flip side to like, anytime someone's like, well, you skipped me. You were sound asleep, and I'm not waking somebody. If someone is asleep on a plane, chances are they're asleep on a plane because they want sleep. They need sleep.

Andrew: 37:03

Yeah, when I wake you, also I didn't skip you. I move through the airplane systematically, row by row. Start with the window, make my way to the aisle, aisle window like there is a giant system for this that, like every flight attendant does, we didn't skip you. We didn't forget about you. We've been staring at you for three hours now. There's no way that we forgot you. Yeah, just say I didn't know what I wanted, or I wasn't ready when you came through. I was probably sleeping when I didn't see you come through. All of those are acceptable. I didn't skip you, but didn't do it. It's physically impossible for me to have skipped you.

Rich: 37:45

Yeah, I would agree with that. So

Andrew: 37:48

that's it. That's what you guys hate about us.

Rich: 37:51

And it turns out, we found some more things, because that's just the kind of flight attendants. We are the best. We're really the best one. Should we have a story before we go? Oh, please tell me you have a good one. We do galley gossip now, where we share a story from our listeners, and you guys can submit those stories to us at two guys on a plane, comm slash podcast, and tell us all the crazy, wild, wonderful things that have happened. They can be good stories. They can be bad stories. Feel free to remain anonymous if you'd like to or put a fake name, we don't mind, but we do want real stories. So the next story that we have for today is from Amanda. She was in New Brunswick in Canada, and she said I was just coming off a flight during Calgary Stampede Week. Oh, this is about her all decked out in my uniform dress, with the addition of a cowboy hat, boots and bandana along with all of my luggage. The visual is, you

Andrew: 38:48

feel like you immediately need to look up what Stampede Week is. No, I do.

Rich: 38:53

I got down to the bottom of the escalator at the arrivals hall, walked about 10 feet and then lost my balance, caught myself, then did a swan dive, face planted into the floor flat out on my stomach like a pancake. I braced myself for a second. Quietly asked my co worker if anyone was looking everyone at arrivals who has just got off our flight, we're definitely looking I said, Okay, on the silent count of three, I'm gonna get up and we're flying out of here gracefully. Got up as gracefully as I could, and we rushed out like we were part of the stampede. Oh, my God. Most embarrassing moment. I fully expected it to be on Tiktok or something, but never happened. I wish someone had a playback for me, because it's so funny now that I think about it, after the fact, I'm so sorry that you fell I think moral of the story is maybe you shouldn't have worn a cowboy hat with your flight attendant uniform. You'll have to send us a picture of that outfit. Yeah, we need to see it, Amanda. We want to we want to see what the outfit looks

Andrew: 39:51

actually, I need us to reach out to Amanda so we can, like, put it up between us, so that everyone can see what Amanda was edited into the episode. Yes, we need to see what Amanda's wearing. But I really hate this, because I feel like we've, everyone has taken a spill at some point in their career. Yeah, those bags get caught up into something. Yeah, your role at always. It's always the carpet at airports and whoever decided the carpet was good for, like, rolling bags. I really want a special person is I just want to smack shit out of them. Have you been to Cincinnati? I swear someone's like, someone's brother in law owns a carpet store, and that's the only reason that there's so much carpet in this airport. But I just maybe really want to punch them. It sounds like something since I would do, but, yeah, your roller bag just gets caught on nothing, and the next thing you know, you're like, ass up for no reason, just staring at the ceiling, hoping, hoping that no one saw it. So I'm sorry for your spill, but that's funny.

Rich: 40:54

Well, that's all we have for today, but make sure to check out more exclusive content from us behind the scenes. Stuff, bloopers and all that sort of fun stuff. In our Patreon community, you can join at patreon.com/two guys on a plane, and everything that we earn there goes back into helping make our podcast happen. So we can't thank you guys enough for your support as a thank you, you'll get all sorts of extra content, merch and fun ways to connect with us and our community, so go check that out, and we'll see you next time.

Andrew: 41:25

Join us for more humor, heart and stories from our beverage cart.

Rich: 41:29

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Buzz Burbank: 41:47

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