Relationship Advice Flight Attendants Swear By

February has us feeling reflective… and real. With Valentine’s Day just behind us, we’re discussing what it actually looks like to be married, both work as flight attendants, and somehow still like each other. People always ask us, “Do you ever even see each other?” And honestly? Sometimes… no! But we’ve learned how to turn that into our superpower.

In this episode, we talk about intentional time, opposite schedules, missed trains at the airport, and the tiny rituals that keep us grounded when life is anything but. From “just landed” texts to Etch-A-Sketch love notes, we’re sharing how we make it work—without pretending it’s always easy. If you’re navigating challenging travel schedules, long distance dating, or just trying not to let routine take over your seasoned relationship, this one’s for you.

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Episode Highlights:

[1:07] Why February has us talking love—and what it’s really like being married flight attendants.

[3:04] Winter flying struggles and the toddler who ran the cabin.

[6:20] The big question: how do we make this schedule actually work?

[8:25] Why absence keeps things intentional (and interesting).

[11:07] Months apart vs. six weeks together—finding the balance.

[16:38] Airport crossovers and five-minute coffee dates that save the day.

[17:24] Our purple door, Etch A Sketch notes, and Trader Joe’s love language.

[19:49] Mandatory texts: good morning, good night, wheels up, wheels down.

[22:06] Turning work trips into adventure (Lisbon chaos included).

[23:42] Galley Gossip: secret Tito’s, law enforcement, and a very messy landing.

Transcript

Andrew: 0:00

It just took off, the just landed ones. I mean, those are always important, because it means I have five minutes to text you, so if something important is going on, now's the time for you, right? Like, let me know. Let me know.

Rich Henderson: 0:10

Yeah, especially on those quick turns, it's like, I don't have time to have a full conversation with you right now, but I'm here for like, a second if, if you're here, let's do it.

Andrew: 0:19

Let's talk. Yeah, oh, I'm so sorry. The toilets flooding, okay, taking off

Rich Henderson: 0:27

one of those things where it's like, less is more. It's like, don't tell me in the middle of the day, something's happening. I don't want to know and I can't do anything. You're just gonna ruin my day. Tell me about it after the fact. Communication is important, but also leaving out certain details. Sometimes you can be brutally honest. You can be too honest. That is a thing. Ever wondered what your flight attendants are really talking about behind the galley curtain.

Andrew: 0:57

Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an insider look at flight attendant life. We're your hosts, rich

Rich Henderson: 1:03

and Drew, and we're here to tell you what really goes on at 35,000 feet.

Andrew: 1:07

So sit back, relax. We're ready for takeoff. Hi friends. Today we are talking about relationships as we look into February and Valentine's Day, we decided to talk about our relationship and give you a realistic viewpoint about how we make life work. As to people who travel quite extensively,

Rich Henderson: 1:31

people are always asking us, wait so you're both flight attendants. Do you ever even see each other? And the answer is no, no, we, we always talk about this and how it just makes our time together more intentional. And you know, we often will fly with people who are trying to date or are in relationships and they're like struggling to make it work. And we're here 1011, years in ish, do you know? I don't know something like that, and that's the fun. So today we're going to talk about how we keep our relationship flying. Yeah, but speaking of flying, how is flying going for you lately?

Andrew: 2:17

Mostly good, other than it's winter, if the cold and the de icing could stop, I would be really grateful for that. I don't think I've had a single day of work that hasn't run three hours behind schedule in like weeks, and I'm just I'm tired and I'm over it.

Rich Henderson: 2:35

Yeah, this time of year, I feel like everyone is sick and just like miserable, like, post holidays winter, like the weather is, and there's no sign of, like, light at the end of the tunnel yet. So everyone's just kind of, like, grumpy.

Andrew: 2:50

There isn't. And I took too much time off this summer to travel, because that's what normal people do right now, I have to, like, put my head down right, get my hours in and make up for it. So I am just at work every day three hours behind schedule.

Rich Henderson: 3:04

I know I hear you. It's been rough out there. I The one good thing for me lately is a lot of my flights have been kind of empty, not empty, but there's been a lot of layer lighter, normal. And I mean, not good for business, I'm sure, but good for me as a working flight attendant who doesn't have as many people to deal with. But I had this family the other day, and, like, the exit row was full as it usually is, because people want, like, room and whatever. But there was this family of the baby sitting right behind this full exit row, and we had probably 10 completely empty rows, like scattered throughout the plane, and they had their little kid like kicking the sea yelling, like opening, closing the window shade, like this kid was being a maniac. And you could tell that the guy sitting in front of him was trying to sleep and was trying to, like, mind his own business. But he kept looking at me and being like, help. And so I told the family, and they were like, I know, I'm so sorry. You know, we know everyone's trying to sleep. And they like, seemed really nice and apologetic at first, but I was like, you know, we've got all these rows. Like, why don't you guys move over here where there's less people you guys can spread out? And they're like, Oh my God, thank you so much. That's great. So I go to the back, I'm telling the rest of the crew where they're moving to I look down the aisle, I see them moving. It's taking a really long time. Like, I don't know what is happening, but there's like, back and forth. There's bags moving back and forth, like, 15 minutes goes by. Finally they settle down. I go through the cabin, they're back exactly where they started. And I'm like, what is happening here? And they were like, Well, we tried to move to the other row, but he didn't like it. I was like, who didn't like it? They were like, our son, Marc. Move, get your kid and go, like, you're not letting your two year old run the show here and bother these nice people. And I kind of was like, Get up, give me your bags. We're moving. And the kid screamed. And I was like, I don't care. Like, I don't You're bothering people at this point. Is a problem for everybody. I need you to move. And I was just like, I parents that let their kid, like, run the show like that. And I know airplanes and travel is stressful, but I was like, you can't, like, ruin everyone else's day because your kid doesn't want to know something.

Andrew: 5:32

I need to have a parent on so we can talk about this issue out loud, because I'm not a parent, so I don't know what you're dealing with on an airplane. So, but I I don't have the patience,

Rich Henderson: 5:42

no, and I try to be as like, sympathetic as I can, but I'm also like, I at the end of the day,

Andrew: 5:49

well, because you've seen both extremes of it. You've seen kids that are so well behaved and parents that do such a good job at it, and then you see kids that aren't, and parents that I don't really understand what you're doing. But again, I'm not a parent, so I'm not judging. I just would like to understand better. So yeah, we need to. We need to figure that out. That should be a topic. Oh, we'll

Rich Henderson: 6:09

definitely have some parents on. I got a few ideas. Back to today's topic, how do we keep our relationship flying?

Andrew: 6:20

Yeah, I mean, we've made our relationship public so people know that we both fly, and I think that that is one of the biggest conversations that we have on the airplane a lot, because, I mean, we're both doing a lot all the time, seemingly rarely see each other. So how we make it work is usually a topic of conversation for me, which I enjoy talking about, because I really enjoy you.

Rich Henderson: 6:44

I think that's a good place to start, though, because I think we are always talking about it. I think that's one thing that we do really well, is identifying the issues, like knowing that we're spending so much time apart and talking about that and being like, Okay, we, you know, both were kind of gone this week, doing our own thing, like this weekend. We've got to make time together intentionally. And, you know, make sure to spend time together without our phones, without responsibilities, without other things kind of weighing on our minds, and just like, actually be together. And I think when people ask us, you know, oh, how do you like, how do you make it work? How do you keep things going? And that absence, like, it's cliche, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. It makes you not only grow fonder, but also appreciate the time that you do have together. And like, I think about friends of mine who work very rigid schedules, like nine to five come home to their spouse at the end of the day, every night, their kids, whatever like they get in such a routine that they take those things for granted. And I think because we don't get as much time together, it makes it so much easier to not take it for granted, because we're always just like, gosh, this is so nice that we get to spend this evening together doing whatever, like we haven't done this in a couple weeks, or whatever, like, just it makes every night together feel like a date. And we try very hard to make intentional date nights and intentional activities, and we sit and, like, have intentional conversations about our relationship,

Andrew: 8:25

yeah, and I think we've talked about it before in a previous episode about how we dated before we got married. But I think along with like, how we schedule our time together, I think it's also important how we schedule our time with other people, because it's not like there aren't other relationships in our lives that aren't important, but our friend time is spent when the other one is away, right? Like we intentionally schedule like nights out with friends when it's just us home alone, so that, you know we're being fulfilled on every front and not, you know, feeling like guilty because, you know, we had three nights together this month, and I used one of them to go

Rich Henderson: 9:04

to a friend's party. Yeah. I mean, we do it together times.

Andrew: 9:08

Yeah, it's unavoidable sometimes, but we do try to use times when we're apart from each other to use for friends and things like that. But, yeah, I think the time that we are together, we do spend it with intention, like you were saying, the way we plan dinners and make everything a little date, and it's all important. Yeah, don't know why I'm fumbling right now.

Rich Henderson: 9:31

Sorry. Okay, side note that maybe I shouldn't admit publicly, but here we are, and this will live forever out there. One of my favorite things about flying is using it as excuse when I don't want to do something, I'm like, Oh, I can't I'm flying, yeah, because any day of the year there's a trip somewhere, and it's like, no, checked out. I need a mental health day. I'm flying. And then just go. Curl up on the couch and hide from society. He tried to use

Andrew: 10:03

that on me once, and forgot that I have access to a schedule. And I was like, Are you though?

Rich Henderson: 10:09

No, because my toxic trade is dropping every trip that I get, just to see if it drops. And then it does, and then, whoops, I'm not at work.

Andrew: 10:18

But when we are flying full schedules, we make sure that we have evenings at home together, or we try to schedule our days off together so that we are present for each other.

Rich Henderson: 10:29

Yes, that is one thing that is like critical if you're in a relationship that one of you or both of you travel, is like you need to figure out your schedules and find at least a couple days where you're both home together in a month, because we've had months where we're like, Okay, we'll survive this month because we're both just opposite schedules. You have union stuff, I have another trip with someone else, or whatever the case may be, and then it's like, the end of the month happens. I haven't seen you. And actually, this is awful. We should never do this again.

Andrew: 11:02

This. Yeah, we're currently in one of those months, just so everyone is aware, welcome.

Rich Henderson: 11:07

You're currently on date night with Andrew and rich,

Andrew: 11:11

but we just came off a vacation where we spent six weeks together. So you you have to balance that time right, like we don't not see each other for a full month, if we haven't seen each other for a month, right? Like we don't, we don't continually not see each other, but we just came off of six weeks together. We're literally, it was just the two of us for four of those six weeks. Yeah, and

Rich Henderson: 11:37

we still liked each other,

Andrew: 11:41

I think. So, you know, it is hard to be in the moment where we don't see each other for a month, but we do have to figure out how to balance that time.

Rich Henderson: 11:49

I always think about it like they say, like your significant other should be your best friend. And while I kind of understand that and don't understand that, that's how we feel about having a relationship, where we're apart a lot too, is like, there's always that novelty of it, like, you know, when you haven't seen your best friend in like, a couple months or whatever, because your lives get busy, you're just so excited to be with that person and tell them, like, every little detail about your life. And like that excitement never really goes away, because you, you know, plan your time together, and you make sure to like, spend dedicated time with each other. So that's one thing that I honestly, really like about the fact that we're always kind of flying these crazy schedules and not seeing each other, is like, it never gets stale. It never gets stagnant. Life is always interesting and it keeps things going.

Andrew: 12:40

Yeah, yeah. And I think, I think because we're apart so much, it allows us to, like, consider what the other person will need and do little important things that make you feel special, right? It's, you know, meal prepping, it's laundry, it's, it's all those little things that, all those things

Rich Henderson: 13:01

that I don't do that. I really appreciate now, one of my favorite things that you do, and I always think it's sweet, and I know it's for me, but it's also partially for you. Like, you'll go to Trader Joe's, and you always, you're, like, a sucker for, like, a random baked good, and they always have, like, some random flavor cookie, or, like, cake, or something like that. And like, I'll come home and there'll be, like, a new treat on the counter, and I it's just one of those things. It's like, sweet, because I knew he probably stood in the aisle and he was, like, thinking, okay, there's this flavor and this flavor, I probably want this flavor, but I'll eat this flavor, but rich probably likes this one. And like, I just, I see it, you know, obviously a treat is nice, but it's like the thought behind it that I know you stood there and like Trader Joe's and thought of me while you were doing it.

Andrew: 13:50

I love how he just told all of you about my autism in Trader Joe's. So I think more than like the time that we spend apart from each other. The harder thing to balance is when we are not apart from each other but are working opposite schedules, right? Because I mostly work like early mornings. You like afternoon, evening, type flying. So those days when we're like, what you're smirking well, because

Rich Henderson: 14:21

my problem is I love early flying, because it's, like, the least problematic, because delays haven't happened. Passengers haven't gone crazy yet, they usually go to sleep, but I cannot bring myself to get out of bed. And like every time you're like, I wake up at three o'clock in the morning. I'm like, I know. I'm not going I'm not doing it, but yeah, but you're right anyways, right?

Andrew: 14:45

So I usually work morning flying, which usually works afternoons for doing, like, a couple weeks worth of turns together, we still aren't seeing each other. And like the harder part, I mean, it's really easy to prioritize time together on our days off and things like that. But figuring out how to, you know, still prioritize our time together when we are in that weird space where we're working opposite schedules, that's where I always struggle the most. And I think that, you know, because I want to stay up late and want to spend all my time with you and I want to watch the TV show, right? But you're just rolling in as I'm going to ready to go to bed, and you're like, let's launch an episode of Salt Lake. And I'm like, let's do that. And then three episodes later, I'm like, boy, I didn't get any sleep last night.

Rich Henderson: 15:32

I know. I know, because that's the same as you being like, wake up in the morning and have coffee with me before I leave. No so I do understand that aspect of it. But yeah, one thing I like that I feel like we do is like, we both take the train to work, and like, there's always these times where, like, I'm going into work and he's coming home, and like, we'll be in the airport at the same time, but like, just missing each other, and it's like, Okay, I'll take an earlier train to, like, see him on the train platform or at the train station, or he'll hang out at the airport an extra few minutes because he knows I'm on my way. And like, we'll catch up, say hi, hug, kiss, you know, just to, like, be like, Okay, I didn't go a whole day without seeing you like, and those little moments usually put one of us, or both of us, I should say, on arrested, one of us, like, in a better mood. Like, I remember the other day we we went to work together, and we sat at the airport and we had coffee, and it was like, a nice way to start the day, yeah.

Andrew: 16:38

And I was just thinking the other day, I came home walking out of customs, and there you were walking into security, right? Otherwise it would have been four more days before I saw you again. Yeah, yeah. I also really like, I'm gonna give secrets to our life away. But the point we decided we wanted to do something kind of friends ish in our house, so we painted our door purple. Oh, yeah. And instead of getting the

Rich Henderson: 17:01

gold friends like their friends TV show Friends, ish sounded like we wanted to just be friends.

Andrew: 17:07

Anyway, we were on theme as it was coming down. Can we painted a door purple? But anyways, instead of doing the purple and gold, we ended up doing it like the boys apartment and putting the etch a sketch on our the back of our living room door.

Rich Henderson: 17:24

See, we have the purple from the girl's door and the Etch A Sketch from the boys door.

Andrew: 17:28

Yeah, all on our door. And even when we're not like with the days that we're opposite schedules, I wake up to a note right on the edge of sketch just brightens my day. Yeah, oh, you were thinking about me last night.

Rich Henderson: 17:40

It's honestly, it's very practical to be like, Okay, go get milk. Also, I love you and I'm thinking about you and I miss you. Yeah, I originally was like, Oh, we're grown adults. Like, we can have an etch a sketch on our door, and it's like, probably our favorite thing in the apartment, because we just, like, leave little notes and silly drawing. Sometimes I draw, I'm not great at it.

Andrew: 18:02

What are you talking about? You drew a whole cityscape one day.

Rich Henderson: 18:07

Yeah, that wasn't a cityscape. Art is open to interpretation,

Andrew: 18:14

but the little notes, the laundry, the you know, making sure things are done, houses are clean. I leave for work and I left at a mess the night before, and I always come home to a clean house.

Rich Henderson: 18:27

Always, yes, it's like, we live in hotels. You walk into a clean hotel, you want to walk into a clean house too.

Andrew: 18:36

It's magical.

Rich Henderson: 19:44

But yeah, we we're pretty good too, about, like, allowing each other Grace if it's like, okay, you had a stressful morning, or you woke up and you didn't feel great, or whatever, like, you rushed out of the house and left a sink full of dishes or whatever the case.

Andrew: 19:58

Day one, it's clean. Day four, yeah, it's a trash trap. It's not good.

Rich Henderson: 20:02

Well, I mean, like, you know, life happens, and you can't be too mad about certain things, but I feel like we are both really good about just kind of communicating those things with each other. And that's really like the biggest underlying theme about keeping your relationship going when you don't see each other, that often is communicating because, you know, that's where I always see like, I'll fly with people who are like, oh yeah. Like, you know, my boyfriend and I, it's not going well because, like, we never see each other. And I'm like, what are you what are you doing between the times that you see each other? And it's like, you know, well, he's working here, and I'm doing this, and it's like, we just won't talk for like, four days. And I'm like, well, that's not good for any relationship. And it's like, you don't have to, like, have three hour conversations every day, but it's like, how are you communicating? It's like, we'll send each other pictures. You know, this is me and my crew today, or this is I'm at this restaurant on layover having this meal. Wish you were here. Like, you know, it's thank God for technology, because it's like, about making your. Significant Other part of your day, even when they're not. Yeah, and knowing that they're part of it, and still in your mind, is half the battle.

Andrew: 21:15

They're just mandatory texts too, though, like Good morning, good night, taking off, landing. There are things that, like, one should know about your life.

Rich Henderson: 21:23

I know and we don't always have Wi Fi on the airplane. And I mean, we're not supposed to be on our personal devices at work anyway, so we're never on those at work. Ever airlines,

Andrew: 21:37

the just took off, the just landed ones. I mean, those are always important, because it means I have five minutes to text you. So if something important is going on, now's the time for you, right? Like, let me know. Let me know.

Rich Henderson: 21:46

Yeah, especially on those quick turns. It's like, I don't have time to have a full conversation with you right now, but I'm here for like, a second. Yeah, if you're here, let's do it. Let's talk. Yeah.

Andrew: 21:57

Oh, I'm so sorry. The toilets flooding, okay, taking off.

Rich Henderson: 22:05

That's one of those things where it's like, less is more. It's like, don't tell me in the middle of the day, something's happening. I don't want to know and I can't do anything. You're just gonna ruin my day. Tell me about it after the fact. Communication is important, but also leaving out certain details. Sometimes you can be brutally honest. You can be too honest. That is a thing,

Andrew: 22:30

and don't let those things that defined you when you started dating drop off like we still go on overnights with each other. We still take weekend trips. I mean, those things that have always been a part of us are still a part of us. We don't do them near as often. I'm tired and old and I can't, can't go days without sleep anymore.

Rich Henderson: 22:50

But I know I'll never forget that time you came with me to Lisbon after working a full turn to, like, Cancun or something. I mean, by the time we land in Lisbon, I think you'd been on a plane for like, a, probably a full 24 hours at that point. Yeah, close to it, yeah. And it was like,

Andrew: 23:07

and I was just supposed to be doing a turn, so I didn't have anything with me, which was the crazier part for me, but like,

Rich Henderson: 23:13

it was fun and adventurous. And, like, not something you need to do every day, not something you need to do to, like, keep things fun correct, keep things exciting. Yeah, before we go, we're gonna do one of our favorite segments. This is galley gossip, where we read one of the stories that you guys submit from our audience. We love hearing your stories about crazy things that you see out in the wild in aviation. So go to two guys on a plane, comm slash podcast, and submit your stories with us. We love reading them, and we're never surprised by the wild adventures that we all find ourselves getting into out there on the airplane. This is a story from Brenda. She is based in the US. She was going from San Jose to Miami, and she says one passenger had brought six cans of beer on board without the crew knowing then drank all of it secretly with Tito's and then started harassing both crew and passengers around them as we were landing, getting ready to meet law enforcement a service dog we had on board. Of course, there's more like, there's always there's not just one issue. It's always multiple issues happening as we're landing, a service dog we had on board, started to poop and vomit all over the road that these guys were in. That doesn't sound like a service dog, correct? It smelled awful, and the service dog owner requested to deplane first prior to law enforcement getting on about the gentleman, service dog then proceeded to poop all over the boarding door right after I disarmed it. We're on a 737,

Andrew: 24:49

gross, disarmed first.

Rich Henderson: 24:52

It's nasty. So we're stuck an additional 30 minutes inside the plane because the door is covered in shit and we're waiting on law enforcement. Law Enforcement escorted the drunk passenger out with a bag over his head, handcuffed him in his boxers with urine stains there. I feel like there's more to the story that she's leaving out. Wall said accident was still on the floor and found the six cans of beer unopened two different paper works on our go home leg. Of course, it was their go home day. Always. It's always last leg of a trip. It's always shit, just totally, quite literally, hits of the fan, and chaos ensues. Brenda, I have a couple questions for you. Brenda, I have a lot of questions for you.

Andrew: 25:37

Things I need to know, was he pouring the Tito's into the beer,

Rich Henderson: 25:41

or, like a re like mixing Tito's and beer?

Andrew: 25:45

Yeah, are we just drinking? Are you serving the Tito's? And he was washing those shooters down with his beer. And then how did he get down to his underwear? I'm confused.

Rich Henderson: 25:56

Yeah, I missed the part of the story where he got naked, but I guess if he was covered in he started to maybe the dog shit on him.

Andrew: 26:06

And why did. The cops put him in a plastic bag.

Rich Henderson: 26:11

Oh, I don't know that that's important, but why did they put a bag over his head?

Andrew: 26:16

Okay, maybe a plastic bag. Did they unzip his backpack empty? Does he now have his backpack

Rich Henderson: 26:22

over his head? I don't even know what I would have done in this situation. You know that story

Andrew: 26:27

that Steven has sat on my jumpsuit and been like, this is go home day. This is go home day. Someone fetch me a bathing toaster.

Rich Henderson: 26:36

You're really gonna make bathing toaster become a thing, aren't you? This is one of those situations. So where I would be like, I'm done. It's go home day, yeah, I'm done. I'm over it. I'm not here. None of this is happening. Yeah, this

Andrew: 26:49

is where I would have called the manager and been like, can you come to Gate Four, please? But you

Rich Henderson: 26:54

know that story that Jet Blue flight attendant, Steven Slater, when he just, like, snapped one day and, like, popped a slide, took the liquor kit and left, like, every day, I relate to him a little bit more. The crazier things I see happening the more I'm like, You know what, Steven, I get it you were pushed. You're pushed too far.

Andrew: 27:14

It was the two beers. Was the only question mark I had on that story. Think he took more than

Rich Henderson: 27:19

I think, yeah, I think he took more than

Andrew: 27:22

those the two beers, yeah. Oh man,

Rich Henderson: 27:25

please keep all ligger get what it comes. I would have started drinking it before jumping honestly, but please keep sending us your stories. We love reading these so much. Go to two guys on a plane comm slash podcast to submit your stories

Andrew: 27:40

and Brenda, email us some answers please. Yeah, Brenda, I need, I need more from you.

Rich Henderson: 27:46

So yeah, that is pretty much how we keep our relationship flying. If you have any tips or tricks or even questions, why not shoot us a text, check the show notes for a link, and you can text us with all of your questions, comments and stories and make sure to join us at patreon.com/two guys on a plane to join our online community. We have some great content that's free, and also some subscription plans available if you want early access to new episodes, bonus content and behind the scenes features

Andrew: 28:17

Well friends join us next time for more humor, heart and stories from our beverage cart.

Rich Henderson: 28:23

This episode was brought to you by staff traveler, the number one non rev app if you travel on standby tickets and are looking to make your journey easy and stress free, check out the staff traveler app in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Visit staff traveler.com/two guys to learn more and sign up

Buzz Burbank: 28:40

an ironic media production. Visit us at I R O N, I C, K, media.com you you.