What It's Really Like Living in Hotels as an Airline Flight Attendant

Hotels. The glamorous perk of flight attendant life… until they’re not. This week, we’re pulling back the curtain on what crew hotel life is really like — the good, the weird, and the absolutely unhinged. From “food beds” vs. “sleeping beds” to conference tables with no actual beds in sight, we’ve seen it all.

We’re also venting (just a little) about holiday passengers, airplane bathroom etiquette, and those deplaning sprinters who think row 37 is somehow first off the aircraft. Plus, in Galley Gossip, a mid-flight wardrobe change turns the aisle into a full-blown fashion runway somewhere over Kentucky. Buckle up. This one’s chaotic in the best way.

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Episode Highlights

[1:03] We talk holiday travel madness — once-a-year flyers, seat confusion, and why row numbers suddenly stop making sense.
[2:42] Drew goes full lecture mode on airplane bathroom etiquette. Tissues. Courtesy. Please.
[5:24] My rant: the deplaning sprinters who think common courtesy no longer exists.
[7:28] The glamour of hotel life — from rundown apartments to La Quinta feeling like luxury.
[9:31] Food bed vs. non-food bed. Office beds. Furniture that makes zero sense.
[11:38] The mysterious conference room hotel suite situation (yes, it happened).
[14:50] Accessible room surprises and asking the front desk for a “bathtub and shower curtain.”
[16:35] Naked hallway stories and why we need data on this immediately.
[17:22] Worst hotel offenses: bad beds, bad pillows, and impossible-to-find outlets.
[19:22] Connecting room paranoia… and Drew apparently opening the door on purpose.
[20:09] When your coworkers fight next door and security gets involved. Hotels: sometimes Jerry Springer, sometimes Marriott.
[23:25] To inspect for bed bugs or live blissfully unaware? We choose peace.
[25:39] Bathtubs vs. showers — and why soaking your feet in a sink may or may not be acceptable.
[28:11] Regional flying throwback: ordering pizza to the hotel before we even land.
[31:00] Galley Gossip: A passenger changes into a floral sundress mid-aisle and asks us if it’s giving Magic Kingdom or Epcot.
[34:32] We wrap it up and invite you to send us your wildest hotel stories.

Thanks for flying with us! If you laughed, cringed, or felt personally attacked by our hotel pet peeves, do us a favor: rate, follow, share, and leave a review. It helps more than you know. See you next time at 35,000 feet!

Transcript

Andrew  0:00  
Well, my most favorite, and I think anyone who actually works in aviation, I really like to have a hotel room with two beds, one for sleeping and one for eating. Those are the rules. There's a kitchen bed and a living room bed, correct? So I really like having a sleeping bed and an eating bed. I don't really like when there's like, other furniture in a hotel room, like couches or desks or anything like that. I don't understand them. What do you

Rich Henderson  0:22  
do with those? Some of them make sense. Like, I understand business travelers need desks and things like that. But there's always like, the random

Andrew  0:30  
in your office bed. Like, like, well, how many beds Do you want? Well, two of them, like a sleeping bed, which will double as your office bed because you didn't get food crumbs in. And food bed is really the

Rich Henderson  0:39  
like, food bed and the non food bed. Ever wondered what your flight attendants are really talking about behind the galley curtain?

Andrew  0:48  
Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an insider look at flight attendant life.

Rich Henderson  0:53  
We're your hosts, rich and Drew, and we're here to tell you what really goes on at 35,000 feet.

Andrew  0:58  
So sit back, relax. We're ready for takeoff.

Rich Henderson  1:03  
One of the best parts about being a flight attendant, and also the worst is the hotels that we stay in, and people are always asking us, like, Oh, do you guys pay for your own hotels? First of all, no, that would suck. And secondly, they're like, oh, that must be nice. And I feel like it's very much hit or miss, like there's good things about hotels, and then there's some not so good things about hotels. So that's what we're going to talk about today, because we have some crazy hotel stories, and we figured this would be a fun conversation to have, but call this the secret hotel life of rich and drew No that sounds really messed up. I don't think anyone wants to know what we do secretly in our hotel rooms. Yikes. This episode has gone off the rails before it even started.

Rich Henderson  1:50  
How has flying been lately?

Andrew  1:52  
Start there, coming off the tales of holiday travel, flying has been interesting. Yeah, I should say, Okay, I don't know. Holiday travel brings out a different breed of passengers every year. You know, they're the ones a year, flyers that are going home to Grandma's for Christmas or whatever, or everyone in the family is traveling together, and it's just a chaotic mess on the airplane, and they're shocked we had ever selected our seats together right way ahead of time.

Rich Henderson  2:19  
The numbering of the rows confuses them in numerical dive.

Andrew  2:23  
If you were gonna fit in a row of three, I don't know I got this guy got on the plane the other day, and he was like, they were all sitting in the same row. And he was like, We're not sitting together. And I was like, did you want to sit on each other's laps? Like, I can't get you any closer to each other than you are. Like, it's one seat per person physically.

Rich Henderson  2:38  
Where do you want to go River, right?

Andrew  2:42  
ABC, de, like, those are all together. I don't do you want to sit with each other? I don't know you didn't have folding chairs for them to just pull the aisles so they could be happy. Missiles, once a year. Travelers, I'm gonna rant. I'm gonna be gross for a minute. You guys sorry about it. Oh God. People to learn how to use the bathroom on the airplane because I am tired of going in there and cleaning up skid marks off the toilet, and I can't do it anymore. So my rant today is how to properly use the bathroom. So let's all talk about it together, because it isn't evident that you're going to have to use the bathroom. And so if you do what I need you to do is pull a couple of those tissues out and throw them into the toilet first, so that you don't leave your mess behind, because I'm tired of going in there with coffee pots full of hot water to like, clean the basin down when you could have prevented that from happening in the first place. So just please pull a couple tissues, make a mess, and then also bring some poopoo with you, because I'm really tired of spending money on it. So if you know you have to do that on an airplane, and you do, you do know that you're going to do it, so make a nest and bring some poopery, because I'm over it.

Rich Henderson  3:58  
Are you going to teach this course? For sure. Yeah, we put this online.

Andrew  4:03  
Any Community College out there that sees this and wants me to come like guest host a lecture at your class, I am 100% and we can go full.

Rich Henderson  4:12  
Should this be our new side hustle? Probably two guys in a plane to find out more. Yeah, I think it's appropriate that we're both wearing brown today as we're having this conversation. We didn't plan this, actually, but if you're watching on YouTube, we look like we're going on some like wilderness adventure, which, if you know the two of us, we don't go on

Andrew  4:34  
to lasso up a Bronco today. I think, actually,

Rich Henderson  4:38  
literally, oh my god, I can't even imagine I'm so I'm so thrown off by this poop story, because it's so true, like I first of all, you're a better flight attendant than I am, because I would

Andrew  4:50  
lock the door and walk away. Lock the door and walk away.

Rich Henderson  4:53  
I If I see poop or vomit, I'm done. I'm gonna throw up on something. Thing, I'm like, one of those, what do they call like, a sympathetic puker or something? It's like, you puke, I puke.

Andrew  5:05  
It's not the sight of it. It's the sound of it happening that gets me see.

Rich Henderson  5:09  
It's the smell for me. The site doesn't do anything for me, but that smell will send me crying.

Andrew  5:16  
Yeah, not us here, two guys on a plane tackling the real issues. Today, we're here to talk about the tough topics.

Rich Henderson  5:24  
What about you? How's flying been for you lately has been good. I have noticed this uptick, though. My rant for the day is passengers sitting like I love when you get to the gate and the seat belt sign goes off and passengers stay seated, like, when you're in row 37 like, what are you Where are you going? Like, wait your turn. But lately, I've been seeing passengers in the last like, five to 10 rows when everyone's sitting just get up and start walking. Like, it's not like everyone is just deciding they want to stay on the plane like they're waiting their turn, like normal, respectful people. And I'll never understand the people that are like, Well, I'm just gonna get up and walk like, no, now you're being rude. Let people you know, be calm and orderly about their deplaning process and and stop being

Andrew  6:17  
rude to people. I literally had this happen the other day. So the guy in, like, noticed like three people walk by him. He's probably, like, only 15 rows up from the back, but he sees like, three people walk past him, sticks his leg out, and then, oh, that didn't trip them. That didn't work, because people were, like, walking over his leg. So he just stood up. And I was like, it's just so rude to, like, force him to be in that position. Like, I agree, forced him to be the bad guy, scenario, when you could have just used your manners and, like, set like everyone else did, yeah,

Rich Henderson  6:49  
like, common courtesy. I don't know what happened. It like, went out the window. Also, this

Andrew  6:55  
literally just went off when you started running up to the front of the airplane. And we haven't even opened the door. It's a solid six minutes before we get the door open absolutely,

Rich Henderson  7:06  
yeah, I just don't understand. It's not like, Oh, this is my stop. I'm getting off here. Like everyone is getting off here. What are you doing? Stop being rude to each other.

Andrew  7:17  
Wait, you don't do intermediate stops.

Rich Henderson  7:20  
No, you stop places and let

Andrew  7:23  
people out anymore. That used to be a thing, a whole other episode, right?

Rich Henderson  7:28  
Anyways, today we are talking about our favorite and least favorite things about hotels. First, I have to say, when I started flying. I loved it, because I was living in a shitty, like, rundown apartment that had, like, roaches and mice and plumbing where, like, if I showered, I was, like, knee deep in water. Like, I lived in this just dump when I started flying, so, like, going to La Quinta was like, Oh, you had that big Jacuzzi. Tom, I didn't have a Jacuzzi tub. Oh, joke. Sorry. Oh, I was like, what Jacuzzi tub? But yeah, I was, I was living in a dump, and so, like, even going to, like, like into I was, like, glamorous. They got free breakfast. But now I feel like we like where we live, and we live in, like, a nicer place. I don't love hotels as much as I used to, but I do still enjoy it. Are you? How do you feel about this? Do you love hotels?

Andrew  8:26  
Yeah, I still enjoy a hotel, but I also mostly work turns at this point in my career. Anyways. So the hotel is again a luxury for me, right? Because I stopped working, like multi day trips years ago. So when I do get one, I'm like, oh, right, fancy.

Rich Henderson  8:45  
Look at me with two beds. No, I

Andrew  8:47  
could use all the towels. Yeah, I know.

Rich Henderson  8:50  
And that's, that's one of the things about, like, hotels, the towels and stuff. Like, I feel the need to use all of them. And I know environmentalists out there are like, that's horrible, but like, hopefully they're replaced between guests anyway, but I have a feeling they're probably not, if they're not touched, that's a whole nother conversation. But yeah, I'm always like, I'm gonna use all the towels, I'm gonna use all the toiletries, I'm gonna use all the beds, the toiletries I use. I don't know why I I'm like, I want to try this. It's cheap, shitty shampoo, but I'm still like, it's like, you're in a holiday and it's not that good, I promise. But what are some of your favorite things about hotels?

Andrew  9:31  
Well, my most favorite, and I think anyone who actually works in aviation, I really like to have a hotel room with two beds, one for sleeping and one for eating. Those are the rules. Those are the rules. Those are the rules or not. But there's a kitchen bed and a living room bed, correct? So I really like having a sleeping bed and an eating bed. I don't really like when there's like, other furniture in a hotel room, like couches or desks or anything like that. I don't understand them. What do you do with those? Some of them make sense, like I understand. And business travelers need desks and things like that. But there's always, like, the random in your office bed, like, like, well, how many beds Do you want? Well, two of them, like a sleeping bed, which will double as your office bed because you didn't get food crumbs in. And food bed is really the like, food bed and the non food bed, yeah? Food bed, non food better. So, like, you have an office bed, or you have, like, a loungy bed, yeah, whatever you want to call it sleeping bed. What do you need? All the other

Rich Henderson  10:25  
things for? But, yeah, some of the furniture is weird. Like, I had this hotel room in Rome a couple months ago, and there it was weirdly large for Europe. Like the hotel rooms in Europe are usually a lot smaller, and this hotel had, like, a lot of empty space. There weren't any chairs, though. It was all like tables. And I'm like, What are we doing with all these tables? Like there was one that was like a coffee table, not a couch or chair to sit with, it just a coffee table, like in the middle of the room, and then by the window, there was like a little side table, which probably would have looked cute next to a chair for like, a little reading area or whatever. No chair, just a coffee table, like our side table. By the window, like a little round table. And then the one that made me the most mad was the one between the bed and the bathroom, another little side round table just in the middle. Like, I was like, I'm gonna trip over this. And my stupid ass moved it so I wouldn't trip, and still tripped over it in the middle of the night. So yeah, furniture placement in hotels, I do not understand it.

Andrew  11:38  
Oh, my God. I was in Mexico recently, and like, you had a bed and then, like, a table, no couch or anything, just a bed, and then a long, like conference room table, and then a singular chair pointed back at the bed. And I was probably gonna get edited out at some point, because I'm just gonna be honest with you, but I had to get up in the middle of the night because I had to move the cuck chair like the ghost of cups were staring at me, and I had to, like, get up and move so wrong chair out of the way. I couldn't do it.

Rich Henderson  12:08  
Those in the chairs in hotel rooms are always gross. There's always just something gross about it. If there isn't a stain on there, there is. They're so gross. Yeah, I can't with the chairs. I don't know,

Andrew  12:21  
everybody thinks it's so glamorous. And we get put in these brilliant, like, beautiful hotel rooms. And sometimes we do, and sometimes, right, we don't. Sometimes you get in these winds on the city that you're going to and you get put in these weird hotel rooms. And I don't know,

Rich Henderson  12:34  
it's funny, you say that about a conference room, though, because I literally had this room. I'll never forget. It was like a Holiday Inn in San Francisco, and I opened the door and there's just a conference table, like a mini fridge and a microwave, and like, I see the bathroom off to the left. There's no bed in this room. I'm like, What am I? Am I supposed to like, sleep on the conference table? So I go back to the front desk, and I'm like, You gave me a conference room, like, what am I supposed to do? And they were like, oh, that's like, our hospitality suite. And I was like, Okay. And she's like, Did you see the door that was, like, around the corner and down the hallway behind the conference table? And I was like, no, what? She's like, Yeah, your room is attached to the conference room. It's like, you have to go through the conference room to get to your room. And I was like, so like, the whole public could just be in the room. It was like a private conference room with a room attached to it, but you had to go through the conference room to get to my room. It was the weirdest thing. I sat there, though, at the conference table. I ate my dinner alone. At the end of it, I had a meeting with all 12 of my personalities. Gave me a Snapchat of your board meeting that day. I remember, yeah, very bizarre things happen, like these hotels. I don't know who makes these decisions, either,

Andrew  13:55  
and I don't know how we get put in the rooms that we get put in. Sometimes, like, you'll go to some hotels and you'll get put in like a four room suite, and fine for like a 10 hour or like a 10 hour overnight. Never when you need them. No. But when would I a single person need a four room suite? But anyway, always. But then I have to use all the beds. Yes, we've already talked about that. I have to use all the beds. I have to dance in every room, or I have to eat in every room. When I first started flying, though, I went to this one hotel, and like most handicapped rooms are like, marked somehow, but there were no markings on the door, so I didn't know I was getting Okay, accessible room, right? And also, I really always feel bad when they put us in accessible rooms, because who needs to need this? Yeah, correct. But anyways, I called down to the front desk. And I was like, I'm so sorry to bother you, but I don't seem to have a shower curtain. And she was like, oh, okay, I'll send one right up. And I was like, great, great, great. When you send that up, can you also bring a bathtub? Because I don't

Rich Henderson  14:50  
have one of those either. Was it just like a it was just

Andrew  14:54  
a room right in the middle of the room. It was like the accessible, accessible room. Okay? Me. And she didn't find me funny. She was like, Maybe we should get you a new room. And I was like, That would be great, because I will fall and break my neck in this room. Oh, absolutely. So the whole floor is just tile. The whole bathroom was just tile, and you stood in the center and, like, the shower head was right in the middle, so, like, you could brush your teeth while wash, because you could stand at the sink, wash your hair and all of that stuff. It was a no for me, yeah, I don't love that. I was like, Can you send up a shower curtain and a bathtub? I would, would love that.

Rich Henderson  15:27  
Yeah, I definitely, I really like hotel rooms that are just you walk in and you're like, see now this makes sense. Like everything is where it's supposed to be, like you walk in the bathroom and there's space, like sometimes you walk in and it's like, the door hits the toilet and it's like, well, that's not gonna be helpful for anyone, right? You know, it's like, nice to walk into a room where you're like, someone made good choices here.

Andrew  15:49  
Yeah, agreed. I don't understand hotel layouts, though. I'll be honest with you, like a hallway, well, like the rooms, the rooms I don't know. I'm surprised I haven't ended up in a hallway naked yet. I know several flight attendants who have, because, like, the bathroom door and the hallway door are so close together. How do you end up in the hallway naked? What's in the middle of the night and you thought you were going to the bathroom and you end up in the hallway instead? Isn't it usually, like, pretty obvious which door is which? I don't think so you've never accidentally opened the hallway door in the middle, like heavy No, I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, kudos to the people who are putting the sliding doors now, because they're obviously different. But oh, for the bathroom. Yeah, I know a bunch of flight attendants who have ended up in hallways naked in the middle of the night.

Rich Henderson  16:35  
I'm gonna need to collect data on this. If you've ever been in a hotel somewhere and ended up naked in a hallway? Tell us we want to know

Andrew  16:47  
solid four flight attendants that it's happened to that's crazy, really?

Rich Henderson  16:52  
Yeah, I've locked myself out by accident, like going to an ice machine, but never naked, huh? I huh? That's funny. Okay, so what are, what are some of our worst, worst things about hotels? For me, it's the bed, a bad bed. You can't recover from that. I don't care how nice the hotel is. I don't care how clean it is. How many other amenities, are there a bad bed?

Andrew  17:22  
Yeah, I would agree with that. My hotel pet peeve is outlet and USB port placement. Yes, we travel with so much stuff, yeah, and they have one plug in the room, and

Rich Henderson  17:35  
it's like hiding, yeah, it's like playing, where's Waldo to find an outlet. It's like, it shouldn't be that hard, because

Andrew  17:40  
I know some of you brave stews carry everything, including the kitchen sink, inside your bag, so you can pull out a 36 plug extension cord and be just fine. But I'm not that stew. I take the least amount of things to work with me as possible.

Rich Henderson  17:57  
I think that's why I like staying in like a Residence Inn or somewhere that has, like, a little kitchenette, because then I feel like I can kind of set up, make my meal do whatever, with, like a fridge and on the stove top, yeah, and not feel like I'm living in this, like sad little box alone, you know, away from family and friends.

Andrew  18:17  
Yeah, it's plugs and pillows for me. How did you keep that sad little pillow that has one feather left in it Hotel?

Rich Henderson  18:25  
Yeah. And some of them, they're like, tiny little like this. They're like, tiny, little square pillows. This is actually at least full, like, it'll be like, tiny thing. It's like, my head barely like, if you even roll over for a second, you're gone. You're off the pillow. I don't understand

Andrew  18:39  
who you have a bad bed, if I have a good pillow, okay, forgive both pillow over bed. Yeah, I actually have bad pillows and bad bed. You're the worst hotel ever, yeah, but if you have good pillows, you can have a terrible mattress.

Rich Henderson  18:52  
My biggest thing is I don't like connecting rooms. And I feel like a lot of our hotels, like, know that crew members don't like connecting rooms, but I just get so creepy when, like, you're in your room and it's like, quiet, and then you just, like, hear another human moving, and you're like, I don't think I should be hearing what I'm hearing right now. Like, you know whether they're sneezing or snoring, it's like, if you can hear that in your hotel room. It's too close for comfort.

Andrew  19:22  
Also, I don't recommend this, but I'm also the flight attendant who like unlocks and opens the adjoining room. I feel like if you, if you are nosy enough to open your door, you're gonna get a show when you open it, like, whatever's happening in my room, you should, you know people, you're open it, leaving it open for sure, because if you on your side. Like, want to open it. I need you to, like, open it to my room and, like, get a peak my life.

Rich Henderson  19:47  
Am I just now realizing I married a crazy person?

Andrew  19:50  
Probably yes, wow. You know some people, like, put things up against it. I open it. If you are going to open your side of that door, if you are going to open it, you're going to see what's going. Not in my room.

Rich Henderson  20:00  
What kind of sick, twisted Russian is this? Absolutely not open the door. See what happens.

Andrew  20:09  
Are you okay? No, I'm really not. I thought we determined this already, yeah, no,

Rich Henderson  20:14  
back to therapy. We go. That's funny. Yeah, no, I don't want anything to do with that door. I will open it and close it, just like, make sure triple check that door is locked and is not going to open and someone's not going to, like, creep in on me. But I was staying at this hotel somewhere in upstate New York, like buffalo or Albany or something Rochester. I don't know, I'm naming all of the places, but you know what I'm talking about. But I was on this trip, and it was a four day trip, and the crew was co parent, so we were like, all same pilot, same flight attendants for the whole four day trip, and I got put in a room next to the lead flight attendant on the trip, and I was pretty new, so I was like, I don't, it doesn't matter. So I'm in my room at night, and I hear them like, laughing talking, because we have the connecting room. And I'm like, okay, they're laughing, talking, they're probably drinking, like, you know, maybe they'll go to bed soon. That's fine. So I hear them leave. They go to dinner. It's quiet. We have a really early van. So I'm like, I'm gonna go to bed soon, and I'm getting ready and, you know, reading or whatever, and I hear them come back and they start arguing. It's getting more and more heated. I can't hear what they're yelling about, but they're yelling and they're mad and they're drunk, and they're just like, screaming at each other. And I'm like, Oh my God. Like, should I call the front desk? Like, what is happening all of a sudden, stuff is getting thrown around the room. You can hear stuff hitting the wall, and my bed's like, backed up against this so I'm like, kind of looking over my shoulder, like, Is someone coming through this wall right now? I mean, they're like, throwing furniture. I hear glasses breaking, then I hear, like, get the fuck out. And the door in the hallway opens, a suitcase gets thrown into the hallway. And I'm like, I think I should maybe call the front desk now. So I called down, and I was like, I don't know how to say this, but I think we need security on my floor. And they were like, Okay, we'll send someone up. So like, security comes, they get involved. This whole thing finally quiets down. I go to bed the next morning, the lead flight attendant is like, I'm no longer speaking to the captain. And they were like, dating. They were in a relationship. And I was like, Okay. And she goes, so you'll have to speak to him for the rest of the trip. This is like, day two of four. I'm like, No, that. That's not how this works. So yeah, hotels sometimes glamorous.

Andrew  22:46  
Sometimes you learn way too much about your co workers.

Rich Henderson  22:49  
Sometimes an episode of Jerry Springer or Maury or one of those.

Andrew  22:54  
Yeah, that's funny. So I really do love hotels. Though they're my favorite, it's nice to just like, be comfortable housekeeping you want to worry about, like clean sheeting up trash and, you know, clean towels, everything's always fresh when you return. It's great. Love it. It is really nice. Are you one of those stewardesses that wanders into the room and looks to see just how clean your room is? Do you start untucking sheets, looking for bed bugs and all of those things. No, no good.

Rich Henderson  23:25  
I know it happens, but I feel like I don't know, I

Andrew  23:28  
don't know anybody who doesn't go looking for problems and doesn't find them when they go to hotels. So like, I like to be blissfully

Rich Henderson  23:35  
how I feel like I don't want to think too much about the stains. I don't want to think too much about the hair on the sink like because then you start thinking about who's been in this room before me, who's done what in this room before me, blissfully unaware. I like to pretend this is my personal hotel room. No one else has stayed here, and it's brand new for me. No one else will ever stay here again. It's a much happier way to live. Correct. My golden rule is, don't, if you look, you'll find because if I find something, it's over, like it's ruined, like I went in to this hotel in Atlanta one time, walked into the hotel room, the towels in the bathroom were there's just like a brown smear down the middle of one of them, like it looks like someone just literally wiped their asshole with it. And I called down to the front desk, and this is like, 11 o'clock at night that I got in this room, and I was like, I think I need a room or housekeeping or something like, we don't have any other rooms, but, you know, we'll have someone come replace the towels. And I said, okay, so someone comes to my door with fresh towels, and she goes here. And I was like, no, no, no. Someone is coming to do this for me. I'm not doing it. And she comes in, and she's like, What do you want me to do? And I was like, take the dirty towels away. And she's like, I'm not touching that. I was like, you've got to be kidding. Me, I don't work here. I'm not doing it either, right? And so we, like, kind of went back and forth, and she finally, like, grabbed it bare handed, and I was, like, replaced the towels, and I, I don't think I slept more than three minutes, because I was, like, just so grossed out by that entire hotel. Oh yeah, that's awful. How do you feel about taking a bath in a hotel? Because I feel like this is a hot topic for flight attendants, because you've got some people who are like, all about it, don't care, and then you've got people who bring a full supply of cleaning supplies and, like, scrub the tub before they do it.

Andrew  25:39  
Well, if we'll harken back a few episodes, you'll remember that I, I'm, I'm for them, yeah, I'm really mad that everyone took out the bathtubs and put in showers. Yeah, I'm not, like, a bring all the cleaning supplies, but like, a good Clorox wipe will work. You just need to wipe it down. Yeah, sometimes after a long day, but not even like, so I can have a full bath, right? But after a long day, sometimes you just want to soak your feet and, um, yeah, so now I have to, like, sit on the sink and, like, put my feet in the sink to get, like, a hot soak on my feet and just, just bring back a bathtub for me, please.

Rich Henderson  26:17  
You're sitting on the sink and soaking your feet in the sink. Where else are you going to

Andrew  26:21  
put where else you're going to do it? You do it? You guys, you don't want to come to a hotel with me. It's real weird that

Rich Henderson  26:27  
whole secret lives of drew in the hotel thing. It's gonna become like a, well, they have the they have the long documentary, they have the long thing. So you like, sit up there and put your feet in the where else do you put your feet? Soak them one at a time, in the ice bucket. I would take the whole sink down, though, that whole thing would break. Like, I don't care, not my hotel, not my house, not my problem booth told, Oh, my God, that's so funny. Anything else about hotels, best, worst hotels,

Andrew  27:00  
I don't know. I don't think it takes. I mean, maybe I travel too much. I just feel like they're all the same. I don't, it doesn't matter what brand know that at all you get. I just, I feel like they're all so the same. I really am really easy to make happy in a hotel. I just want a clean, comfortable bed and maybe some pastries in the morning. I mean, if you have a full breakfast, I love that too, but at least some pastries and coffee in the morning, I'm really happy you don't feel that way. No, okay,

Rich Henderson  27:29  
I'm so particular. I need things just right. I mean, I need air conditioning that makes it colder than Antarctica. I need a fridge that works really well. I need outlets everywhere. I need good water pressure. I need good pillows, blackout curtains, I mean, and yeah, if there's a free breakfast, that would be nice.

Andrew  27:55  
I don't think I'm asking for a lot. No, the basics, honestly, just the basic basics.

Rich Henderson  28:03  
One thing about being crew is you learn way more about hotels than you ever could imagine, and we've seen it all clearly.

Andrew  28:11  
When I worked for the regional, we did stand ups a lot, and I made friends with the front desk people because we went to the same city all the time. I want to say it was a Hampton Inn in Columbia, South Carolina. And my friend Joey and I, we used to leave DC at like, I don't know, nine o'clock. And we would call the hotel right before we left. She had our credit cards on file, and would be like, orders pizza will be there in two hours. That's amazing. And the front desk lady would have a pizza waiting for us when we got there, because they had our credit cards on file. So when Joe and I, because you're on a stand up, or whatever you all call them, right? The one where you take the last flight out, yes, in the mornings you're on the ground for, like, like an all nighter situation, yeah, one of those continuous duty overnight. Yeah, it's my favorite. So we had pizza when we landed, and then it was a Hampton Inn. So like, biscuits and gravy, they've good breakfast.

Rich Henderson  29:05  
They had breakfast at early, though, don't you leave at like, 4am on those

Andrew  29:09  
Yeah, but the front desk people really like Joey and I, so they had it ready early for us.

Rich Henderson  29:16  
That's one good thing about technology now, though, is like you can be flying in somewhere, and know where you're staying, and just like Uber Eats something or Door Dash something, we

Andrew  29:25  
didn't have that back, way back then,

Rich Henderson  29:28  
way back in the day, back in my day, I remember we used to serve meals on 20 minute flights.

Andrew  29:36  
We did, actually, we didn't carve anything, though, carving they've taken the knives away by the time I became a flight attendant. Probably for the best for me as a flight attendant, it is you never should have had knives in the first place.

Rich Henderson  29:49  
Well, that's it for today, but definitely tell us your favorite hotel pet peeves, or least favorite hotel thing. Things we'd love to hear from you guys, so feel free to text us. You can check the show notes, send us a little message and tell us. Tell us your crazy hotel stories. But before we go, should we do some galley gossip? 100% yes. So next up, this segment is called galley gossip, where we share a story from one of our listeners, and you can go to two guys on a plane comm slash podcast and submit your story, whether you're a flight attendant, gate agent or just a frequent flyer who saw something crazy, we want to hear from you and your stories. So today's story is from anonymous. I know they didn't want to share their name, and after you hear this story, you're gonna want to name and you're gonna want to have follow up questions. This is my favorite part, because I get them blind, just like you all do. Yeah, it's more fun when I get to surprise Andrew with these things. He hates surprises. But in this instance, it's kind of fun. All right, so somewhere over Kentucky on a Chicago to Orlando flight. Why I gotta be Kentucky? Why you gotta be Kentucky? Why we gotta go, I don't know. Anonymous, why somewhere over Kentucky, on a Chicago to Orlando flight. Call light goes off from 14 b I walk up expecting the usual, oh, can I have a water? And instead, a woman is standing in the aisle in her bra fully, holding a floral sundress in front of her like we're backstage at a fashion show. She goes, can you tell me if this is more of a Magic Kingdom vibe or like an Epcot vibe? Because I can't really tell. Her jeans and shirt were folded neatly on the seat. Her seat mate was staring straight ahead like he'd seen a ghost and she'd fully decided that the aisle was now her personal dressing room. Well, I gently suggested the lavatory, and she said, Oh no, that's okay. I don't really fit well in those anyway. And then straight in front of me, she slipped the dress on right there in the middle of the aisle, while I guarded the room like an underpaid nightclub bouncer. Whenever people say, Oh, as a flight attendant, you must see some things. These are the stories that we're

Andrew  32:06  
talking about. The comments that said, whoever that somebody made this story up. Because there's 100% it 100% happened, right?

Rich Henderson  32:13  
There's if people, like, don't believe the things that we see. No. And I'm like, I do, yeah, I would believe

Andrew  32:21  
about anything, really, anyone did on an airplane, because I literally seen it all. Right, yeah, just

Rich Henderson  32:28  
dirty things, yeah, crazy things, inappropriate things. We've seen it all, yeah?

Andrew  32:34  
Remember Bri? She was telling us she they were on the show. She was telling us about the lady who's changed into a scuba suit, yes, mid flight, of course.

Rich Henderson  32:44  
But I think the funniest part about that, like this one tells you where and when it happened. The funniest part about bree's story was like, she had no idea it was just like, suddenly she was, like, in a wet suit. What is happening? When did this happen? How did this happen? Why does no one around look phased by this?

Andrew  33:03  
Yeah, and no one wants to call out the crazy, so they just all sit and like, stare unbelievingly. Like, I can't believe she's standing here changing her clothes.

Rich Henderson  33:12  
Well, yeah, right now, that's the thing is, like, the more you get involved, who knows what's gonna happen next? Like, I don't blame people for not wanting to get involved in the chaos, because I don't even

Andrew  33:22  
think I would have guarded the rose. I think it would have been like that would be better in the lavatory, but you do, you boo. And then gone back to my book.

Rich Henderson  33:32  
I was flying with this girl the other day, and she was brand new, and she was so great and so sweet, but I forget what happened. But she's like, should we, like, find out more about that? And it was like, No, we should not. Yeah, we should not find out more about that. And me and this senior guy that were sitting on the jump seat in the back alley, and we were both like, no, and he goes, Yeah, the less you know, the better words of wisdom, oh, from a senior flight attendant? Yes, absolutely.

Andrew  34:03  
25 years in my ability to ignore anything is like next level. Next level.

Rich Henderson  34:10  
I see what I want to see, and I hear what I want to hear, and that's that keep sending us your stories. We love reading these so much, and we hope you guys find them as fun as we do. Go to two guys on a plane, comm slash podcast, and keep sending us your stories. Whether you've seen something crazy or you heard a story, we want to share it.

Andrew  34:32  
Gosh, I hope her sundress was the right vibe for the theme park. I'm literally still stuck on that story.

Rich Henderson  34:37  
A floral sundress is not doesn't make sense for either Epcot or Magic Kingdom. I hope it was the right thought. I'm not a Disney adult, but Disney adults, I know you're out there. Weigh in. Oh goodness,

Andrew  34:47  
join us next time for more humor, heart and stories from our beverage cart. So good at that. I really, really proud

Rich Henderson  34:53  
of myself. Proud of you too. This episode was brought to you by staff traveler, the number one non. Of app if you travel on standby tickets and are looking to make your journey easy and stress free, check out the staff traveler app in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Visit staff traveler.com/two guys to learn more and sign up

Buzz Burbank  35:13  
an ironick media production. Visit us at I R O N, I C, K, media.com you

Transcribed by https://otter.ai